‘What does it feel like?’ Belle asked as she followed Alexandra into her bedroom. ‘I’m serious, how does it feel?’
Alexandra shut the door behind them, not wanting anyone else to hear their conversation. ‘It’s the most incredible feeling in the world,’ she confessed, as they both flopped back onto her bed, staring up at the ceiling as they lay side by side. ‘I just, I can’t imagine life without him, and I know that sounds ridiculous but—’
‘You’re in love,’ Belle finished for her. ‘It’s not ridiculous. It’s what we all dream of.’
Alexandra linked their fingers together and turned her head so that she was looking at Belle. ‘Something happened today, something that I think could change everything for me.’
Belle sat up, looking down at her. ‘What happened?’
Alexandra sat up too, wrapping her arms around her knees. ‘I’m going to audition for the London Luminary Ensemble. I know that means we won’t be able to go to university next year together if I’m chosen, but—’
Belle hugged her tightly, fiercely. ‘Stop,’ she said. ‘I was planning on taking another gap year anyway, and if this is what you really want?’ She shook her head and smiled. ‘I’m so happy for you, Alex. You deserve every amazing thing that’s happening for you.’
‘I keep imagining us living in some gorgeous flat together, with sheets of music pinned to the walls and having friends over to practise.’ She sighed. ‘I know, I’m getting carried away, but it feels so good to dream.’
‘Then dream you may,’ Belle announced. ‘But right now you’re getting ready for lunch with your cousin, who, for the record, was your best friendbeforeyou were famous.’
They both laughed and Belle dragged Alexandra from the bed.
‘Girls?’ There was a knock at the door, followed by its opening just enough for her aunt to poke her head round. ‘What’s all the excitement about?’
‘Well,’ Belle said, with a conspiratorial smile, ‘Alex is in love and she’s going to audition for the orchestra.’
‘Well, how about that?’ her aunt said. ‘I mean, the being in love part isn’t exactly a surprise, but the orchestra? That’s just splendid. You’ve been working very hard on your music, Alexandra. We’re all so proud of you.’
‘Thank you,’ Alexandra replied. ‘I have a long way to go, with choosing what piece to play and practising, but I’m so excited to even have the opportunity. They’ve never been open to considering female musicians before.’ She hesitated. ‘All these years, I’ve never thanked you for introducing me to music. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without it now, so thank you, Aunt Elizabeth. It means the world to me.’
Her aunt’s smile was serene, but there were tears shining in her eyes, and Alex only wished she’d thanked her sooner. ‘You’re very welcome. It’s you who has had the talent, but it very much sounds like we should be celebrating today. May I join you both for lunch?’
Alexandra nodded to her aunt as Belle slipped away, presumably to get ready to go.
‘Oh, and Alex?’
She turned and smiled, waiting for her aunt to speak again.
‘Love or not, it would be nice to know you were asleep in your own bed at night. I would hate to have to restrict your time with Bernard.’
Her aunt gave her a steady look before leaving her, and Alexandra stood very still, mortified. So much for thinking that her aunt hadn’t noticed her absence.
She turned and looked at her violin where she’d laid it on the bed, wishing she could take it out now and begin practising, to start work on what she might play at her audition. But most of all she wished she were in Bernard’s flat, with him curled up on the bed watching her as she played for him.
23
FOUR MONTHS LATER
Alexandra closed her eyes, her breath shallow as she tightened her fingers around her violin. She lifted her chin, rehearsing in her mind, trying not to listen to the impeccable performance of the musician ahead of her, trying not to compare herself as she prepared for what was to come.
I can’t do this.
Fear rose inside of her, a line of sweat forming on her upper lip as her heart started to pound, as she thought for one fleeting moment that she should simply gather her things and run, that she should avoid the heartache of what she was about to put herself through. That she shouldn’t have been there in the first place.
‘Alex.’
A hand closed over her shoulder, gentle and reassuring. She opened her eyes and turned to find Bernard standing there, his thick dark hair falling over his brow, his soft brown eyes reassuring as she stared back at him; at the man who’d made all of this possible.
‘This is your moment to show the world who you truly are,’ he whispered, his hands light against her back as he pulled her closer, as she tucked her violin to her chest and stared back at him. ‘Youdeserveto be here, Alex. You deserve everything that has brought you to this moment.’
His lips brushed hers, and when he pulled away he pressed his forehead gently to hers, carefully stroking her hair as they stood. His breath was warm against her skin, the feel of him so close reminding her of just how far she’d come, of the opportunity she’d been given, of the gift he’d given her.
