She’d hated him sometimes, and the guilt had sat heavy on her.
“That, my lady?”
Lord Stafford was looking at her with the expectation she would answer his question. What Alice wanted to do was run fast in the direction Ezra had taken.
“Weakness,” she said when nothing else came to her.
“You think that weeping and letting another comfort you is weakness, Lady Alice?” The words were spoken gently as one would if soothing a child.
I am not a child.
“Don’t you, Lord Stafford?”
Alice knew the words had hit their mark as the gentle look in his eyes changed, and he was once again the cool, expressionless marquess.
“Would you ever let anyone help you through what you’ve endured? Or is what you do your way of running from your demons?”
“And what exactly is it that I do?” His voice was cool now. All that warmth and comfort she’d felt moments ago was gone as if it had never been. Alice told herself that was for the best.
“Whatever you can,” she said quietly, steadying her breath. “As fast as you can.” She didn’t look away.
They stared at each other for long heartbeats until he said, “It is late. Come, I will escort you to your carriage.”
She’d comforted him tonight when Huckle had told him what he’d heard about the incidents with those women. About the man’s laugh. Alice had felt the change in him. Felt him tense, and the hand on his thigh clench. It had been instinctive to reach over and place her fingers on top of his. Now he’d comforted her, and suddenly it was as if those moments had not happened. They were distant strangers once more.
The clip clop of hooves was followed by the approach of Ezra with her carriage. Lord Stafford opened the door, and before she could step inside, large hands lifted her and she was tossed onto a seat. Alice struggled to right herself, but when she did, it was to see him braced in the doorway.
“Do not go anywhere that could be termed dangerous without me.”
She wasn’t frightened of many people…if any, but right then she knew he would be a formidable foe should she cross him.
“You—” before Alice could finish that sentence, the door was slammed, rocking the carriage on its chassis. Before she reached the window, she could hear the hum of him speaking to Ezra. Looking through the glass, she watched Ezra nod, and then before her eyes, Lord Stafford started running down the street away from the carriage.
Ezra started the horses moving, and they followed. Alice pressed her face to the window but did not catch another glimpse of Lord Jameson Stafford.
She sank back against the squabs as the carriage jolted forward. Her palms were damp, her breath ragged, and still her skin tingled where his hands had held her. It was unbearable, this sense of being seen when for so long no one had.
She pressed her fists into her skirts, willing herself to calm. She must lock it all away again—the tears, the trembling, the dangerous craving for comfort. What was she thinking, collapsing against him like some foolish girl?
They rolled toward her townhouse as Alice closed her eyes and saw Charles’s face. Her brother could smile one moment and be filled with rage the next. He had not meant to hurt her, but he had not been himself. Her heart still bore the scars of his cruelty even if no one could see them.
Lord Stafford had seen them.He had glimpsed her vulnerability, and Alice swore he would not do so again. In a weak moment she’d spoken out against the only man who had ever loved her. Shame washed over her.
Alice straightened, forcing her breathing into an even rhythm. She would not think of Lord Stafford’s arms around her, nor the gentleness he showed her. Instead, she would remember the slam of the carriage door, and the cold authority in his command. That was who he was.
And yet she knew she would never forget his words. “It will destroy you if you don’t find a way to let it out.” He had spoken the truth, and Alice often wondered if she would ever be as she was before Charles had shown her the hell he’d endured.
“I’m sorry,” Alice whispered into the darkness. “Sorry that I couldn’t save you.” She wept then. Hot silent tears for her brother. “But you will be avenged.”
Chapter Fifteen
Four days afterhe and Lady Alice had entered the Black Dog tavern, Jamie was preparing to leave the house again. It was late, and while he’d promised to let her know when and if he found or pursued another lead, she would not be accompanying him for this particular trip, and he would make sure she never found out.
She consumed Jamie’s thoughts. He constantly wondered what she was doing, and if she was taking risks and not telling him.
Which is exactly what you are doing.Jamie ignored that voice and took some money out of his desk.
Having returned from a musicale that bored him witless, and that Lady Alice had not attended, he’d changed into dark clothing and was ready to leave.
