Until last night, she had believed herself content with that decision. But now Lord Stafford had kissed and held her pressed to the hard wall of his chest. What shocked her was the fierce surge of want she’d felt. She might be innocent, but she was not ignorant. Alice had read books and spoken to Maggie about what occurred between a man and a woman. And in that moment, had he stripped her bare, she would have let him.
Blind need, that was how she’d named it. Blind to everything but the man kissing and touching her.
Alice liked control. Last night, she’d had none. He had taken it from her. It was a terrifying thought for a woman who survived through strength and self-possession.
She turned back to the papers Mr. Bradley, her father’s man of affairs, had brought her. Thankfully, he was no fool. He had soon realized that Alice was far more capable than Lord Smythe and had accepted that he would now take direction from her.
When the work was done, she sat back and thought about the new dilemma—Lord Stafford. He knew Kenneth Jackson and had warned her to stay away, to abandon thoughts of revenge. But she could not because she had promised Charles. Even without that promise, she would have wanted to destroy the man who had taken her brother’s life long before his heart stopped beating.
“What do I do now?” Alice whispered.
Short of avoiding Lord Stafford, he always would be in her sphere. That kiss would lie unspoken but present between them.
She knew little about the man, other than women adored him and that he was polite and pleasant in society. His two close friends, Lords Hamilton and Corbyn, were both married. Alice had seen him speaking often with Lord Hamilton’s three aunts, who were Aunt Gwen’s friends. They were strong-minded women who never hesitated to say what they thought.
She was certain Lord Stafford had suffered as Charles had. What Alice didn’t know was what she ought to do about it. Perhaps she would write a list. That usually helped her find the right path forward.
A knock on her door interrupted her thoughts.
“Enter.”
“Lord Stafford has called, my lady.”
Shock held her silent for several seconds as she stared at Phipps, her butler. “Ah—”
“I can send him away if you wish, my lady?”
Phipps looked every inch the proper butler, regal and unflappable. He had also been there for her, along with Maggie and Ezra, when Charles had died.
“Put him in the parlor, and I will be there shortly. Tea too, I think.”
“I will see to it at once. Shall I call your aunt to join you?”
“She is still sleeping, so please do not wake her.”
“Maggie—”
“We’ll leave the door open, so there’s no need to worry. Thank you, Phipps.”
Her butler bowed and left the room.
Lord Stafford was here. Why did that make her heart thud harder?Because last night he kissed and held you, idiot.
Alice rose and paced the room, shaking her hands. She lectured herself to be exactly who she had always been, strong and independent. When her spine finally stiffened, she left theroom. A glance in the hall mirror confirmed she looked as she always did—composed and well put together.
The parlor door was open and Alice entered. He stood at the window, looking down at the street below. He was immaculate as always; his broad shoulders were encased in deep blue today, hair slightly mussed. Large body seeming at ease, unlike Alice. Everything about the Marquess of Stafford was big and intimidating, but she would never let him see that. Alice showed no weakness. She had worked hard to be the cool, emotionless woman society saw. A shield she’d built because no one, apart from Charles, had ever protected her.
Thankfully, her father had not forced her to marry. She kept his affairs running smoothly, and a son-in-law might have complicated that.
“Lord Stafford.”
He turned, shoulders first, eyes locking on hers before the rest of him followed. The man moved with surprising grace for his size. In moments, he was before her, bowing deeply. His gaze flicked briefly toward the open door.
“Is your aunt joining us?”
“She is not.” Alice’s eyes found the darkening bruise on his jaw from the fight last night.
He nodded. “Forgive me for my actions last night, Lady Alice. The only excuse I can offer is that when I fight, it takes me a while to calm down, and sometimes I am not entirely rational.”
