“How did I forget?” I mutter.
But I already know how. It wasn’t the morning chaos or the missing nanny. It was because of Steven. He wasn’t here. He wasn’t here to set the pill by my toothbrush. Or tuck the bottle next to my coffee. He wasn’t here to make sure I take care of myself too.
Steven always ensures I take it.
***
“Have you been taking it since the accident?” Ellie asks me later after I’ve told her about the morning.
“Yeah. I don’t know why today was different,” I whisper as I ease a sleeping Josie into the Pack ‘n’ Play in the library office. Margaret beams the second I hand her the monitor. She jumped at the opportunity to watch her the second she heard I needed a sitter for the day.
“Maybe it’s because you’re sort of back in your routine,” Ellie says as we walk toward the teacher’s lounge. Then she tilts her head, grimacing. “But also…not. You know?”
“Insightful,” I grumble.
Everyone is waiting. The disaster of a morning made me fifteen minutes late. My pumps, now attached to me, whir loudly against my chest. By the time they finish their job, the meeting is wrapping up, and the bell is already ringing.
“Good job.” Benny gives me a thumbs up as he follows the group out.
“I’ve never heard you talk so fast,” Ellie snorts.
I wave her off and discreetly unhook my pumps, stashing them in the refrigerator. Once I’m done scrubbing and repacking all the parts, I turn to find Ellie and Mackenzie watching me.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
“You andIneed to talk,” Ellie says, pointing between us. “I don’t know what she’s doing here.”
“I’ve got time to kill.” Mackenzie shrugs. “Either of you want coffee?”
“I’ll take some,” Daniels chimes in, who is miraculously standing in the doorway.
“Good grief, man.” Ellie jumps. “You have got to stop doing that.”
He laughs, but Ellie and I give him a look that says,no seriously, it’s getting weird.The guy, as well-meaning as he is, is starting to freak us out. He appears out of thin air, like a ninja, then disappears just as fast.
“I can take you to get coffee,” he offers to Mackenzie.
“Absolutely not,” she laughs.
“Why not?” Daniels goes beet red, staring at her like she just insulted his grandmother.
“If it doesn’t have doors, I’m not riding in it,” she tells him. My eyes flick to Ellie, who is watching them with a presumptuous smile.
“They’re not that dangerous,” he calls after her as they head down the hall.
We watch them leave, curious but refusing to unpack it.
“What’s up?” I ask Ellie, leading her into my office. I have one hour before Margaret’s lunch break, which means one hour before she tries to feed Josie her ham sandwich again despite my clear instructions that my baby could choke on it.
“So, how was the ranch?” Ellie plops down onto the couch.
“It was good,” I say, now powering through work emails. “Went by fast. The boys had fun. Josie did good in the car.”
“And Steven?”
“Okay. He did okay.” My eyes flick to hers, but she’s not buying it. She arches a brow slowly and purses her lips. I relent with a sigh and tell her the truth. “It could’ve gone better, I think.”
“Did you guys fight?”
