An opening in the blockade appears, and I abandon Devon at the table and make my way through. Arms, hands, and even legs are obstacles as I break through the other side. Ellie and Benny are cozied up near the booth, swaying to a slow song that now plays overhead.
“Hey!” I snap them out of their trance, anxiety heating my back and neck like a furnace. “Is Malcolm in love with me?” My question is shocking and more aggressive than I intended.
“Um…” Benny hesitates. “Why do you ask?”
That is a good question. Why am I asking? Do I want to know the answer when I’m not even sure how I feel about him? I run my hands through my hair, curls breaking apart and falling over my face at the motion.
Ellie breaks away from Benny’s arms, linking her arm with mine. “What’s going on?”
“I just need to know!” I demand, my voice booming over the steady beat of the song. The lights flash around me, pulsing along with the pressure now building in my head. “I just… Ugh. It seems like everyone else knows how he feels, but me!” I pinch my eyes shut and practically yell, “I need to know if Malcolm is in love with me or not!”
“Why don’t you ask me yourself, then?”
Chapter thirty-four
Malcolmm
Kate goes rigid. Hershoulders are basically touching her ears, and her fists are balled so tight I can see the muscles straining in her arms.
“Yeah.” Benny’s eyes are saucers, darting back and forth between us. “Ask him yourself, Kate.” He reaches for Ellie and pulls her to the dance floor.
I step closer to Kate, who refuses to face me. Stubborn. The lights and music are suffocating, but being near her, I can breathe. I fight the temptation to drag my eyes down the edges of her burnt-orange dress and say, “Go ahead. Ask me.”
Her dark curls hit me across the cheek as she whips around to face me. Her face is set in stone, one eyebrow raised and her lip tucked between her teeth. I follow my impulses and pry her lip free with my thumb, which makes her suck in a breath. Her eyes are filled with a thousand questions as she stares at me, unblinking.
“Where have you been?” She crosses her arms over her chest defensively.
“Is that really what you wanted to ask me?”
“Well, you are supposed to be manning the floor, so yeah!”
I’m confused at her tone, but I’ll roll with it. “I switched with Bill. You know I hate crowds.” I rub the back of my neck, observing her. “Is that alright with you, your majesty?” I eye her, unsure what’s going on in that beautiful head of hers, but I also can’t resist giving her hell when I see the anger twitch in her eyes. She doesn’t say anything, and the auburn tint of her eyes flickers restlessly as they dart all around the gym. Frustration starts to simmer inside me with the silence.Talk to me!I grab her wrist, tracing my thumb across the small divot in the center. Her pulse pounds rapidly. “What is going on with you?”
“Are you in love with me?” Her words are like a strike to my windpipe. I knew what was coming. I should’ve been prepared. But hearing it come from her lips still startles all the air out of my lungs.
“I, um…what?” I release her wrist and feel my anxiety spike. This conversation needs to happen, but my heart might actually stop beating altogether if it happens in the middle of this sweaty sparkle prison.
“Malcolm…” Her voice is soft and tender. “Are you?”
The pounding of the music reverberates in my ears, adding to the headache threatening to break through at the next bass drop. I can’t do this here. Grabbing Kate’s hand, I lead her out of the gym.
“Where are we—”
“Shh, just come on.” I pull her behind me, down the hall and out into the cool summer air. Our shoes pad across the paved parking lot, all the way to steps leading down to the football field. The stadium lights are on, and the smell of fresh-cut grass swirls around us as we land on the fifty-yard line.
“Malcolm”—Kate squeezes my hand—“please answer me.”
I release her and try to take a breath. My nerves move down into my throat and choke me. I have to clear it three times beforeI can even look at her. She tries to whisper my name, but I hold a hand up.Please wait.I settle myself and take her all in. Her olive skin has a deep richness to it against the orange silk of her dress. Loose, dark curls graze the top of her collarbone. Just one swift motion of my hand and I’d see the beautiful curve of her shoulder perfectly. Those damn curly strands are just a tease. I clench my fists and fight every fiber within me telling me to reach for her.
She crosses her arms, growing more impatient by the second. I don’t blame her. I’m kind of freaking out right now.
“Alright,” I finally say with a long breath. I rub the back of my neck and decide to just lay it all out there. I can’t cling to the hopeful idea of us anymore. She has to know how I truly feel, and I have to know if she feels the same.
“I like your hair.”You’re an idiot.She sighs, raising an eyebrow at the world’s lamest lead in to someone professing their love. “I like your hair, Kate. I like your sparkly shoes. I like your vegan coffee creamer. Things I wouldn’t usually focus on, I do, because they’re a part of you.” I let out a shaky breath and look at the turf, forcing myself to press on.Use your words, Malcolm. “I like watching you coach and support the kids. I like the way you bite your lip when you write on your chalkboard and how fiercely you love your wild family. I like how passionate you are about so many things. I like everything about you, even your obsession with the Jonas Brothers.” She laughs, and I clear my throat. “But somewhere along the way, years ago…years ago, thatlikebecame something deeper. Something I can’t shake.” I pause and take a deep breath, feeling my heartbeat thrum erratically in my chest.
She doesn’t move or speak. She just stares at me, hugging herself.
I rub my knuckles across my chest, attempting to ease the ache settling there. “Kate— I, ugh…God, yes. I am in love with you. I have been for a while now.”
