“But you don’t owe this place anything.” Sitting up, he leans his arms against the table, gesturing with his hands. Something he does when he’s worked up or overly passionate about the conversation. “You’ve paid your dues and there’s nothing wrong with venturing away and trying something new. You, of all people, deserve it.”
I pat him on the shoulder. “Thanks, Malcolm.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I would hate to see you leave”—he clears his throat and wiggles his nose, mustache moving simultaneously underneath it—“but I would hate even more to see you unhappy.” He hesitates as he fumbles with his empty coffee cup. “You’re a good man, Ben. You deserve a good life, even if that isn’t here with us.”
A lump forms in the back of my throat.Us.
My family.
I take my hand off of his shoulder and pull him into a hug. He hesitates before eventually hugging me back. The thought of leaving this guy, and the rest of Glendale, is something I never considered. I’ve pictured Malcolm and I sitting at this very table, sipping coffee and mumbling about our students until we are old, gray, and senile. The lump in my throat grows and I feel Malcolm’s shoulders move up and down as he lets out a long whoosh of air.
The hug is quick and almost non-existent compared to other hugs out there in the world. We overcompensate for feeling emotional by clearing our throats and patting each other's back likebros.
“What’s going on in here?” Kate asks, standing in the doorway, leering at us. She definitely saw our weepy man hug but she leaves us our dignity and doesn’t point it out.
Clearing his throat even more than before, Malcolm stands from the table and takes his mug to sink. “Just telling Ben to move to New York.”
“What?” Kate shrieks. We both jump at the volume, as Kate storms towards Malcolm, “Why would you tell him that?”
Malcolm tenses his body and drops his shoulder, bracing for impact as Kate swats at him with a school newspaper. She hits him a few times before storming over to me. “Why would you let him tell you that?” she asks, rearing the paper back and swatting me on the top of the head.
“I am innocent in all this!” I cover my head with my arms as she attempts to swat me again. “Physical harassment!”
“What are you gonna do?Tellon me?” She lands one more blow on my shoulder before strolling back over to Malcolm, giving another blow to him for good measure. Her small frame does no damage whatsoever, but we both exaggerate pain by rubbing the contact points over and over.
“Don’t fill his brain with New York nonsense.” She rolls her eyes, opening the cabinets and pulling out a plate before opening the fridge and pulling out a tub of cream cheese. She grabs a cold bagel from the counter and begins lathering it with an abnormally large amount of spread. She seems irritated as she aggressively smears the cream cheese and throws the butter knife in the sink.
Malcolm notices the tension and tries patting Kate on the back when she side steps and storms to the table, slamming the bagel down. He watches her for a moment as she huffs and puffs over her plate without saying a word. He frowns at me and shrugs before leaving the break room.
Kate tears her bagel in half, disregarding the fact that she grabbed the regular cream cheese as she shoves a piece in her mouth, a scowl plastered on her face. I try to point this out, but she ignores the animal product covering her mouth and continues to chew.
“Kate, he was just trying to help me.” I lean against the table to eye level with her. She refuses to look at me.
“Whatever,” she growls with her bagel in her mouth. Her face is somewhat red and angrier than I think this situation deserves.
I would expect her reaction to be upset if she heard I was considering leaving Glendale, but I would have never pictured her to be this mad. As close as we are, I was always under the impression that we had our own lives and there was a mutual understanding that both of us might not always be here. I also kind of assumed she would be the first to move on from Glendale.
“Kate?” She doesn’t answer me. “Kate, are you really mad about New York?”
“Yes.” She grits her teeth, still not looking at me.
“Is that all?” I ask, but I’m pretty sure of the answer. There was something going on before she got here and walking into Malcolm and I’s conversation made her morning even worse. Growing up Kate was told she had attention span issues and she was always irritated and hostile about it. Like a chihuahua when you take their bone, but really they just forgot where they placed the bone. Over time she got better and less hostile, she changed her diet and found other ways to manage her distractions. Being at work has been one of the best outlets for her to concentrate surprisingly. And she usually comes in calm and prepared, but this morning feels different.
She looks jittery and unfocused as she throws her bagel down onto her plate then crosses her arms over her chest and grunts.
Yep, something’s off.
“What’s going on?” I ask, crossing my arms to match hers.
Still not looking at me, she stares out of the break room window at the football field. The sky is a mix of pink, blue, and orange as the sun glows across the field. The track team is cycling through their morning workout of sprints, relays, and calisthenics. The yells and “hoorahs” from the team carry all the way through the window. Kate watches them intently, taking it all in, and I can see her face go from angry to calm as the frown fades when she finally looks at me.
“I was hoping she would stay,” she whispers, her voice breaking a tiny bit as she looks back out the window.
“She could still stay,” I whisper back.
Bagel crumbs fall from her mouth as she scoffs at me, “Yeah, right. Did you see that job? She’d be insane to not accept.” Another chunk of bagel goes into her mouth.
I try not to believe what Kate says. I’m at a weird stage of the grief cycle as I imagine Ellie leaving—somewhere between denial and bribery. I think those are the stages? But for Ellie’s sake, I have put on my best supportive boyfriend face, helping her with her interview outfit, planning to take her to the airport, all the things that a good boyfriend does, even though I’m dying inside.
