I pause for effect, and to gather my thoughts. I’ve never been a dishonest person, but right now may have been a good time to try being a liar for once. Of course I would date him,look at him. His black hair was windblown and curling at the ends, his cheeks were smooth, like they were freshly shaven. I had to fight the urge to press my fingers against the subtle indentation at the top of his cheek and trace it. His eyes were practically twinkling, moving up, down, and all around me. He bites his lip, and I instinctively bite mine. I feel heat move across my chest and up my neck as I take in the view.
My mind starts to drift into awhat ifcloud, making me feel flustered at his question. Too flustered to be a liar now.
“I would.” My voice cracks. “Friend.”
He nods, smiling more to himself than to me. Then he takes his foot and gently taps it on top of mine. “Same,friend.”
The heat moved down my entire body and I was spinning. My stomach was fluttering and a tickle ran up my spine, leaving me a little stunned and perplexed.
Was he saying he would date someonelikeme? Or that he would dateme?
I hadn’t thought about actually dating Benny. I’ve definitely thought about other things, like what his lips might taste like, or what he might look like getting out of a swimming pool—just innocent thoughts, of course. The idea of dating anyone had been so far in the back of my mind I forgot that desire even existed. I’ve gone on dates since Liam, yes, but free food speaks for itself. And it was never more than a free meal. I mentally sabotaged any physical attraction I may have had with any of them—one guy chewed with his mouth open, another had a wrinkly shirt, another had a mullet and a goatee . . . at the same time.
But tonight felt different.
Like the possibility of dating Benny would be bearable. More than bearable actually, it would be wonderful. He was a total catch and I felt lucky enough to be in his presence. Just sucks it won’t ever happen.
Chapter nine
Benny
Itwasalmosteighto’clock when we made it to the cul-de-sac of my neighborhood–my tiny house nestled in the back.
I didn’t intend for Ellie to follow me to myhouse, atnight. But she didn’t say anything, she just stayed with me and helped look for Frankie. The house had already been checked earlier, but I needed to turn the lights on, just in case she came back.
“You don’t have to come in, I’ll be quick,” I tell her as I open my front door.
I needed some space to get my bearings anyway. This night was throwing me for a loop.
Being around Ellie had already been difficult at work. My attraction to her has been hard to contain as it is. But now . . . spending all of this time with her was making it near impossible. I couldn’t get enough. Every new thing I learned about her, I needed more,wantedmore.
I feel pulled to every piece of her—like a magnet. And the fact that I can’t do anything about it is physically frustrating.
I go inside to collect myself—pacing across the floor, stretching my arms, flexing my hands, rolling my neck in circles—anything I can do to get rid of the tension that has built up and ached my muscles. I even splash water across my face and give myself a mental pep talk.
No more awkward comments, Ben.
No more lingering eyes, Ben.
And please, for the love of God, stop saying everything that crosses your mind. You will creep her out.
“Benny!” Ellie yells from my front lawn.
I run outside and find Ellie holding a cat—a naked cat—with her red sweater vest.
Frankie.
“Frankie! Where have you been?” Scooping Frankie out of Ellie’s hands, I carry her inside and Ellie follows.
“Maybe she just needed a night on the town.” She giggles and I watch as her eyes sweep over my place, looking at my photos, books, andmess. I left a coffee cup on my table, my gym bag is wide open on the floor, and my socks are in the hallway.
You are a slob, Benny.
I kick my gym bag underneath the couch and throw a towel over the dishes in my sink as I walk Frankie into the kitchen. I immediately check her blood sugar and give her the medication she missed earlier. I look her over for injuries and then set her on her cat tower in the corner of my living room.
“I’m sorry Frankie took away your entire evening.” I rub the back of my neck. “And for messing up our meeting. Can we try another time?” I swallow my disappointment about needing to reschedule. Spending the evening walking with Ellie was the most fun I’ve had in a long time, but I doubt it was what she had in mind for our after school meeting.
“Well . . . what if we do it now?” She smiles at me.
