As I sipped and listened to my friends talk, I felt tense muscles unwind and was forced to recognize that in allowing work to dominate all aspects of my life, I did a disservice to myself and my patients. Going forward, I would do better, strive for balance—something a doctor, particularly in my specialty, had an awful time doing.
“So, Jovan, tell us about the little you spent time with at the hospital evening. Very adorable.”
“What? Oh, yes. I knew him from years ago, a former patient. It was nice to see him so well.”
“Mm-hmm.” Duncan winked at me. “Looked like more than a follow-up appointment to me. He was hanging on your every word. Drew you a picture of his stuffie, didn’t he? Ocean was very admiring of his skill with a triangular crayon.”
“A thank you.” I filled them in on how we’d reconnected, and what my naughty dog had done to Pup-Pup. “So, you see, I was just apologizing, making it right, and he was expressing his gratitude for my care all those years ago.”
My phone, which I had set on the table next to my glass, buzzed just then, and the name that flashed on the screen belied all my arguments.
Bridger chuckled. “Ernie…that’s the little we were discussing? Is he texting to thank you again or to ask for another sorry about your naughty Zoe?”
My cheeks burned, and these experienced daddies would recognize that even in near darkness. Littles were notorious blushers. Daddies…well, I couldn’t remember the last time I had. But then I wasn’t usually trying to lie to myself and my friends. “No, we’ve been chatting a little, but that’s as far as it can go. He’s a patient, and never that line shall be crossed.”
Clark shook his head slowly. “I am not a real surgeon. I only play one at the stuffie hospital, but let me see if I can unwind what is going through your complex medical mind. If that’s all right?”
I shrugged. These three perceptive men would never let this go if I did protest. Daddies were all about making things better. It was in their DNA, and if I argued, they would persist until I got my head on straight. Not that it would change anything. My attraction to Ernie as a little and as grown-up man were undeniable. I just couldn’t do a thing about it.
The server stopped by and brought another bottle of wine. I certainly was going to have a second glass. I’d still be sober, but it might make me less tense. We placed our orders, steaks all around, although my appetite had faded in the last couple of minutes.
Once she was gone to “be right back with the salads,” they all turned to face me. I winced then tipped up my chin.
“I know what you’re going to say.”
“Do you?” Duncan frowned. “Then why don’t you tell us and save us the effort while we eat breadsticks.”
“That I have a crush on him. But I am going to have to put that away, in the name of my oath. If I hadn’t treated him, I’d go out with him for sure. See where things go. But…you’re also right in that I need to end this whole thing right now before one of us gets hurt. Gods forbid it should be him.” I reached for my phone, every intent of sending a text to that effect, but before I could, Bridger snatched it out from under my hand.
“I know you’re not stupid,” he said, and I gaped. Bridger was one of the kindest, mildest daddies I knew. Hudson had not wanted someone stern—and he’d scored the loving caregiver he’d dreamed of. So saying this?
“I am not so sure of that,” Duncan put in. His little, Ocean, was an executive who sought someone to take the burdens off him when the day was done. And Duncan, whose own job was far less prestigious, was just the man for the job. He was a manager and used to bossing people around, and I had a feeling I was about to learn just how that sounded when directed at me.
The salads arrived, saving me, but only for as long as it took the server to grind pepper over them. Very old-school but delicious. The second she disappeared, summoned by another table, Duncan leveled a fierce glare on me. “If you are the intelligent man, doctor, and daddy we’ve all thought you are, you should realize that treating someone a decade ago for an injury long healed, someone who will not be coming to you for professional services unless something really unusual happens is not a violation of any oath. Is it? I know at least two doctors married to former patients and nobody is taking away their licenses.”
I opened my mouth to reply, but Bridger cut in first. “Exactly. It’s not as if an emergency medicine situation is a lifetime commitment. You’re not his family doctor or his therapist.”
“And there is a real spark between the two of you.” Clark, who had been with me almost the whole evening at the event and who was the closest thing I had to a best friend, studied me carefully. “Jovan, what are you trying to do? Deny yourself any kind of happiness?”
My mouth snapped closed. Was I?
“I’ve never thought of you as a masochist,” Bridger added spearing lettuce on his fork. “But maybe you are?”
The three went on eating salad while I considered their comments. Our main courses came before I had wound around to the point of having any kind of a response. “I’ve thought of him as a patient for a long time. Wondered how he was doing. And then I saw him again, and he wasn’t the kid from before. He has some scars I’ve seen and no doubt others I have not.”
“And will that stop you from being his daddy? If he wants you to be?”
Clarity surged into my mind. “No. Do you think he might?”
Dinner tasted awfully good after that. I texted back and forth with Ernie while we ate, my friends offering suggestions about what to say. Very middle school and very fun. I even ordered dessert after Ernie accepted my invitation for a real date.
Chapter Nine
Ernie
It was date night. Finally. We’d been chatting and texting, and that was great, but I was really looking forward to this for the two of us together. It had taken longer to solidify plans than I wanted, and that was on me. I was the one who’d first brought up going on a date, and then I sort of dropped it. It wasn’t 100 percent me, though.
Part of it was Jovan.
