Chapter One
Ernie
“How do I look, Pup-Pup?”
Pup-Pup didn’t respond. I didn’t expect him to. He was my stuffie and my closest confidant. Ever since I got him nearly a decade earlier, he’d heard all my woes, all my joys, all my stresses, and all of my study notes.
“Well, you’re no help.” I bopped him on the nose and went to the bathroom to check my outfit in the full-length mirror. I looked like I was wearing somebody else’s suit. It fit fine physically, but I was not a suit kind of guy. Today, however, was my big interview, and formal business attire it was.
Ever since getting out of college, I’d gotten entry-level jobs that ended up with big layoffs. Being the last in always meant I was the first to go, and had been a few months since I used my degree for work.
Currently I worked at a coffee shop, which was not awful. It paid the bills. But this job interview could be a game changer. It was at a company that, in its entire history, hadn’t had a single layoff that I could find on any website, and definitely not on the scale of my last two employers.
Better than that, the position was slightly above entry level. I’d be making good money compared to what I was doing now, with steady hours, no weekends, and the potential to move up. Exactly what I’d been hoping for, and if that meant putting a suit on every day, that’s what I was going to do. It didn’t look like the company actually had that kind of a dress code, but until I saw the staff handbook, I wouldn’t know what was required in my department.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, indicating the half-hour warning. I’d also had a forty-five-minute warning and an hour one. I refused to be late, not for something this important.
“Okay, Pup-Pup. I am off.” I grabbed my messenger bag and was about to leave when I changed my mind. “Pup-Pup, I think you’re coming with me.”
I had a rule:Pup-Pup stays home, always. I didn’t want to risk anything happening to him. The one time I brought him on a trip, I’d left him on my hotel bed. When housekeeping made the bed, they had him under the comforter. For about ten minutes, I thought he was lost. Those ten minutes were torturous, and I never wanted to go through them again. That’s whenPup-Pup stays homebecame rule number one.
But I couldn’t risk today’s interview going south because of nerves. I picked him up and looked him in the eye. “What do you think, Pup-Pup? You want to go on an adventure?” I helped him nod.
I wasn’t one of those people who believed their stuffed toys talked back or anything like that, although I suppose if people were watching from the outside, they might think I did. He was my comfort, and chatting with him helped. I refused to feel bad about that.
Pup-Pup came into my life when I wasn’t sure if I was going to have one. I’d been in an accident with a drunk driver as a teen. I lost all sorts of time, but one of the first things I remembered after hearing glass break and the world going black was a doctor sitting on a rolling stool by my bed, telling me I was going to be okay.
At the time, I had no idea how unusual it was to have a doctor in my room for more than a few minutes at a time, that he’d been there because he was the one who saved me, that it was going to be the one and only time I’d have a conversation with him.
He told me I’d been crying in my sleep. I never remembered that dream, but I was on so many drugs and in so much pain, I’m sure it was pretty wild. When I woke up fully and had calmed down and taken a few sips of water per his direction, he told me he’d be right back. When he walked back in a few minutes later, he had a stuffed dog with him. Pup-Pup.
“I know you’re older, ready to go to college even,” he said, “but here, I think you need Pup-Pup. Just hold him close when you sleep, and he’ll help ward away the dreams. Remember, you’re strong and you’re brave, and every day from now on, things will get better.”
“Are you my doctor?” My voice was so scratchy and raw. I’d find out later it was because I’d been on a respirator.
“I was, but this is my last shift here. I was hoping to see you wake up before I’m transferred to my next hospital, and you did. Well done.” He chuckled, and I was too out of it to understand why, but seeing his smile had me wanting to have him laugh again.
“Thank you,” was all I could manage to get out, already falling back asleep.
Funny how I never forgot that doctor. I had so many in the months to follow and I couldn’t tell you a single thing about any of them, but Dr. Pup-Pup’s daddy, as I called him in my head, I remembered a lot about him, given the few minutes I talked to him. His stethoscope had a green band. His doctor coat had one button that was yellow, not white. His shoes squeaked on the tile floor.
My nurse later told me he was my hero and the reason I was still alive. At the time, I kind of wished I wasn’t…alive that was. It was a long road to getting back to “normal,” and going to college had to wait a year while I recovered and caught up on my final semester of school.
Pup-Pup had been by my side that entire time, and now, he was going in my messenger bag and to my interview.
I walked into the office building with plenty of time to spare. The sign on the door said all property was subject to search. I could only imagine the reaction a security guard would have if they grabbed my bag for extra security and pulled out a stuffed dog that had obviously been well-loved for a long time. Oh, well. I wasn’t embarrassed by him. As long as they didn’t take him, all would be well
I checked in at the front desk, and they told me which elevator to take, which office to go to, and where to wait to be called back. I had my bag unzipped, my hand inside touching Pup-Pup, grateful I’d brought him as I waited to hear my name.
“Ernie,” an older man called. “We’re ready to see you now.”
He led me to a conference room where I was peppered with questions from multiple people who would be working on my team if I were selected. After the first question, I saw them all smiling.
I could do this.
And I did, leaving that room confident that I’d made it through this round and that I’d be seeing them again soon.
“Thank you, Pup-Pup.”
