But it’s not just justice for my brother I seek now.
Too many lives had been lost. Killian needed to make sure it was not for nothing.
This is a war I cannot lose.
“What is yer command, m’laird?” Fletcher asked as Killian turned to him, his free hand clenched into a tight fist at his side.His nostrils flared, and he felt the tightness in his muscles reach the corners of his eyes.
“We march for McLennan Castle in a fortnight. We shall bring war to his people just as he has done to ours, and I shall kill him myself. Let him ken we are comin’. I will give him the courtesy he has never bothered to give us.”
Killian turned away after he gave his order and marched out of the dungeons. He faltered in his strides when he saw Lily perched in a corner. Her teary eyes clung to his when he looked at her.
She heard my order.
The ache in his heart paralyzed him. She might never forgive him for his decision, but this was the right thing to do. Laird McLennan had to pay.
Killian stilled his quivering insides, looked away from her, and continued down his path away from the dungeons. He could not think of his pain right now or of Lily.
Thoughts of her would only weaken his resolve. Wanting her would only cloud his judgment. It was best to forget and focus on what was important for now.
A war I cannot lose.
29
“You are making a mistake,” Lily announced when she barged into Killian’s study later that evening.
She had tried not to say a thing while watching his men gather in the grand hall to plan their invasion of McLennan Castle.
Lily could not watch all these men march to their deaths, knowing full well that Duncan’s clan could crush them.
She cautioned when Killian did not stop staring at his maps, “You will be outnumbered. Laird McLennan’s army is not just an army of men. He has over five thousand men, all of whom are ready to die at his command. You do not stand a chance against him at war, Killian… Do not let your anger blind you. Think about your men. Think about—”
“Do ye think I am nae thinkin’ about my men?” Killiam thundered, cutting her off. “Do ye think I dinnae want to protectthem? That I am choosin’ war when there is somethin’ else to be done?”
His eyes flared with his rage as he spoke to her. Lily had never seen him this angry. Even though his words to her the previous night had cut her deep, she still had chosen to stay.
I said I would fight with him, and I would.
Lily did not want to think of why she had chosen to stay. Killian needed her here, even though he had said otherwise, and that was all she could let herself think of.
“Laird McLennan did not do this,” Lily insisted and tried to get him to look at her again. “Richard Easton wanted to say something. He spoke of his ledger and the man with your brother the night they met. I do not think it was Laird McLennan, Killian… You have to listen to me. Let us find those ledgers first, and then we can—”
“Stop!” Killian ordered, and his sharp tone made Lily recoil. Her eyes searched his as he turned fully to her. “You still defend him? Even after all of this? After everythin’ ye heard?”
“Killian…”
“Why are ye still here? I asked yer to leave. Get out!”
Lily saw the veins in his neck stand out, and his harsh tone should have made her run, but she stayed rooted to the spot, her gaze unflinching.
“I am not leaving. We have been through this, and it is not what I wish.”
Killian took a few menacing steps towards her. “What ye wish doesnae matter. I dinnae want ye here.”
“Why?” she challenged, raising her chin in defiance. “Because everything you said to me the other night was a lie. You are hurt, Killian. An innocent man died because you brought him here… But you did not kill him! Chasing me away would not change that. Waging war on an innocent clan will not change that.”
“Laird McLennan isnae innocent,” Killian answered in a warning tone. “Ye have nay proof.”
“And you have no proof that he is guilty. All you have is the word of a puppet, and he could lie to hide the identity of the real culprit.” When he held her gaze longer, Lily summoned the courage and continued, “Let us find the ledgers, Killian.”
