I’m an idiot. And I can’t keep going back and forth like this inside my mind. It’s time to decide if I’m doing this or not. If I want to get to know Claire then I have to commit to getting out of my head. It’s not fair to her and it’s driving me fucking crazy.
“Definitely,” I say, making my decision.
She looks back up and meets my gaze. I either saved it somehow or she already understands the way I self-sabotage.
Ronan taps me on the shoulder. “Come on, Jay! We aren’t finished here yet." It's honestly the perfect time, but he is way too chipper just for jean shopping. "It was nice to finally meet you, Claire," he adds.
“I guess that’s my cue,” I say. She stands and I give her a hug with my one free arm. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” I breathe in her scent before pulling away.
“If not before.” She winks but considering how the universe seems to keep putting us together, she may not be kidding. "Nice to meet you, Ronan!"
Walking away, Ro starts babbling about Chloe. She’s this, she’s that, wasn’t it hilarious when…But I’m only half listening. Deciding I want Claire is fucking terrifying. Especially when I consider she may not want me back.
Interested? Sure.
But could she actually wantall of me?
“Dude, I think that girl’s my soulmate,” he says.
I look back and see the girls standing to leave. Claire gives me a small wave before heading in the opposite direction.
Me too,I think.Me too.
22
Claire
Icount the number of times the cursor on my screen blinks — one, two, three, four — as I space out, mentally running through my previous search. Earlier I decided to Google:What jobs can you get with a teaching degree?
I thought it might ease my anxiety about telling my parents, and planning the rest of my life, if I at least had a plan. So before our weekly dinner, I did some research. Google produced the following ideas:
Classroom teacher - Shocker.
School counselor - Unqualified.
Social worker - Too sad.
Psychotherapist - Sounds scary.
Event planner - Feels like a stretch.
Tutor - Check.
Writer - I wish.
Then there were the ones that at first glance seemed like they may actually work:
Librarian
Advisor
Curriculum planner
Instructional coach
Human Resources
After looking over the list again, I crossed off curriculum planner because honestly, that sounds like the most boring thing on the planet and then also deleted human resources. There is no way I could hire or fire anyone without wildly overthinking how to do it or whether or not they’d be mad at me afterward.
