“What is on your mind, Hannah?” her mother asked.
“Hm?” Hannah snapped her head up.
“You seem distracted.”
Hannah shook her head. “I am only tired. I did not get much sleep.”
“Hannah.” Her mother’s soft tone surprised her, and Hannah lifted her gaze.
She swallowed, her nerves on alert. “Yes?”
“This move,” she began. “You seem more reluctant about it than the others. You’ve been so quiet ever since I made the decision.”
Hannah looked down at her plate. “I told you I do not wish to go.”
“But do you not wish for the best opportunity?” Her mother’s tone was not her usual presumptuous one. Instead, she sounded genuinely curious as to Hannah’s feelings about the matter. “If you stay, with what the society around here is bound to say and think, I just do not see how you will find a way out of it, Hannah. Those rumors will haunt you. Do you not wish to get married at all?”
“Of course I do,” Hannah said, her shoulders sagging. “But we cannot keep this up. I am sorry I have made things difficult. Truly I am. But if a man really cares for me and wishes to marry me, it seems he could overlook something like me stooping to wash his boot or running from a bee.”
“Or throwing a raisin?” her mother asked, her brow arched. But then her lip curved into a gentle smile.
Hannah nodded. “I would much rather have a man who knows my faults and wants me despite them than one who sees only an illusion of my true self. We cannot keep running. And I like it here.”
“And you think you will find such a man?” her mother asked as she placed her hand beneath her chin. “I only ask because I want you to realize the risk you take if we were to choose to stay.”
“I think Ihavefound such a man,” Hannah admitted.
With that, her mother’s brow furrowed. “Oh?”
“Do you trust me enough to wait? To stay, even if no one offers for me?”
Hannah’s mother lifted her chin, studying her.
“It is only . . . I only want to be your daughter again,” Hannah said, her lip trembling. “To be like it was before all the moves.” She took a breath, trying to keep her emotions at bay. “With each move things have grown more tense between us.” A tear slipped down her cheek. “I don’t want you to look at me like a trophy for men to try and win.”
Her mother’s cheeks flushed, and she dipped her gaze to her lap. “That is how you feel?”
Hannah nodded, her hands trembling as she forced herself to be honest, even though it could very well end in another lecture about Hannah’s behavior and her own responsibility in the situation. “I know I have not made things easy, and I will do my best going forward. But, sometimes I feel like it’s less about me and more about what my marriage can do for you and father.”
Her mother’s eyes softened, as if mulling over her answer, as her mouth worked. “I suppose I may have gotten carried away. It had all started so innocently.” She looked up and stared out the window. “One move.” She tapped a fisted hand to her chin. “I had thought one move would be enough to get away from the rumors. But then one move became two, and then three. And here we are now—six moves later? Can that be right?” She looked over at Hannah for confirmation, and Hannah nodded. Her mother’s lips formed a tight line. “I guess I allowed my obsession with the possibilities to overcome sense.”
“So we can stay?” Hannah asked with a new hope—one in which they were staying because her mother trusted her and not because Noah had already made his offer. Which meant that her mother was willing to forgo what an advantageous marriage would mean for herself. If the rumors truly were terrible and they stayed, it would mean her parents could suffer socially as well. Yet her mother was choosing to allow Hannah to make that choice.
Her mother nodded as she fiddled with her fork. “If that is what you desire, we may stay.”
Hannah let out a hopeful breath as her shoulders relaxed. “It is what I want. But what I want most of all is to be your daughter again.”
Her mother pulled her lips in, her eyes misting. “You have not felt like my daughter?” she asked, tears dripping to her lap.
“No,” Hannah whispered. “I have not.”
Her mother cleared her throat, standing from her seat. “I have a sudden need to go into town.” She lifted her gaze to Hannah, her eyes rimmed in red. “Would you like to join me?”
Hannah’s vision blurred. “Yes. I would like that very much.”
“I will go get my things.” She turned and walked toward the door. When she reached it, she put her hand to the frame, nearly glancing back at Hannah before she turned and headed to her room.
Hannah stood and hurried to the front door, fetching her bonnet and tying it beneath her chin. It would take time, but if it meant her relationship with her mother could be healed, then she would gladly take the steps needed. No one was perfect. Hannah had made her fair share of mistakes, and while her mother’s actions had hurt her in the past, if she was willing to mend things that had been broken, why would Hannah refuse her? Perhaps Warthford was the place to incite change after all . . .
