“I . . .” Hannah’s words faltered. If Noah offered for her, she would say yes in a heartbeat. But admitting such a thing aloud made it more real. All the feelings she had been trying to ignore—if she confessed them to Sarah, Hannah would be forced to face her fear. That she was falling in love with her friend, but he did not feel the same in return. “I care for him, of course. I suppose, if he offered for me, I would say yes. Anyone would be a fool not to.”
Sarah raised her brow as she pulled her lips in, hiding her grin. “You owe me no explanation, Hannah. I am the most trusted source for secrets.”
When Hannah gave her a speculative glance, Sarah only laughed. “I promise I am not like my mother. You have my word. Believe me, if you had to watch your every word around your own mother, you would also be wary and cognizant of what you said.”
“Your mother is a joy.”
“She is that. But also a horrid gossip.”
The girls both burst into laughter.
“So,” Sarah continued, “why do you not think Lord Noah returns your feelings? Assuming you have them.” She dramatically rolled her eyes.
Hannah looked at the grass as she kicked her feet. “I always thought when a man cared for me romantically, I would know it.” She looked up at Sarah. “By the way he steals glances yet looks away as if being caught when you notice. Or in soft touches he can’t help but steal, or in the way he watches you when you speak. I imagined I could be expressing my adoration of my newest fabric choice, and his eyes would simply glow as I droned on.” Hannah chuckled at the mental picture she had painted. “Noah listens to me and knows me better than anyone ever has. And yet, I do not get that feeling from him when we are together. He almost treats me as he would a sister.” A hair fell free from beneath her bonnet, and Hannah tucked it behind her ear.
“Well, that is no good.” Sarah shook her head. “Perhaps you need to make him see you romantically.”
“I am not fond of the idea of throwing myself at a man to garner his affection.”
“Of course not. But you could do as you just said. Steal little touches. Make him see you as the beautiful young woman you are.”
Hannah chewed her lip. “Does that not make me seem brazen?”
“All is fair in love and war, Hannah. And in a small town such as this, matrimony would certainly fall into that category. There are not many viable or desirable choices.”
They walked into a large garden, meandering to a bench and sitting to rest their feet.
“And why have you not selected a gentleman?” Hannah asked.
“More like, why hasn’t a gentleman selected me.” Sarah huffed. “I am only thankful that I have found your friendship.” She reached over and put her hand over Hannah’s to give it a squeeze.
“If I have to move again,” Hannah began, her words hesitant, “would you write to me?”
Sarah reared back. “Of course. I would need to know what sorts of scandals the fiery Miss Gibbons was getting into. My life would be dull without it.”
Warmth spread through Hannah’s heart. This young woman seemed to be in earnest. Typically, when they left a town, Hannah never heard from those she had met again. It did not help that they always left under less than desirable circumstances. Especially after she had set that one young man’s hair on fire. “Well, I hope that won’t be necessary and I shall get to stay here indefinitely.”
“Forever if things with Lord Noah work out.” Sarah smiled and tittered her brow in a suggestive motion.
Hannah shook her head, but before she could correct Sarah again, the back door swung open, and Hannah’s mother emerged. “Hannah, it is time to leave. Mr. Swinton is coming for dinner this evening.”
Hannah’s mouth dropped open before she quickly snatched it up. She could feel Sarah’s eyes on her profile, watching the exchange. “You did not tell me that Mr. Swinton was coming to dine.”
“I’m quite sure I did,” Mrs. Gibbons insisted. “But, regardless, he will be over in two hours, and you need to freshen up.” Her gaze flitted across Hannah’s attire.
“Of course.” She gave Sarah a sheepish smile before dipping into a curtsy. “It was a lovely visit, Miss Baxton. I hope to see you again soon.”
“Anytime,” she said with a smile.
They settled in the carriage, and Hannah’s mother made occasional remarks, which Hannah attempted to answer with the appropriate response, but her mind lingered on how uncomfortable the evening before her would be. She did not even know this Mr. Swinton. But such a fact made no matter to her mother, who, upon their arrival home, whisked Hannah upstairs to change and have her hair restyled for their guest. Hannah’s mother picked out her gown, insisting it had to be blue to set off against her hair. Hannah personally preferred green, as it enhanced not only her hair but also her eyes. But she was not overly concerned about making her best impression on Mr. Swinton, and so she did not protest her mother’s adamant request.
But perhaps she should not be so quick to dismiss this Mr. Swinton. What if Noah never got over Margaret, or her mother was not patient enough and pushed her to marry before Noah was ready? Or, the most sobering thought of all, what if Noah never stopped seeing her as a mere friend? All were possible, and wish as she might, Hannah could not know which path it would be.
Chapter 14
Hannahtrailedherhandover the banister as she hurried down the stairs, anxious to get this visit over with and be on with her day. The last two weeks, her mother had been relentless in her effort to have Hannah visit with eligible gentlemen. Mr. Swinton one day, the Bradleys the next, Mr. Abbins another. But if Hannah was lucky, today’s gentleman, Mr. Hodge, would only stay for a polite amount of time and would be gone in a short twenty minutes.
She walked through the doors of the drawing room to find her mother already there. Once she saw Hannah enter, her shoulders relaxed. “Hannah, dear. I was about to send Joyce to find you.”
