Lord Wood strode forward, pausing beside Robert with a frown before continuing on.
Wonderful. His brother-in-law clearly was not impressed with what he saw so far. But why did Robert even care? If Lord Wood made quick judgements based on what he perceived, there was not much Robert could do about that.
When Robert arrived at the Lavender Room, Louisa was already at work, pointing out all of the improvements that had been made, keeping the close attention of her mother and sister-in-law, which left an awkward silence between himself and Wood.
“The room looks very masculine,” Wood said, tucking his hands in his pockets as he surveyed the walls with a slow perusal.
“It is to my taste,” Robert said. “But Louisa was the one who designed it.”
“Under your tight watch?” Lord Wood turned slightly toward him.
Robert didn’t so much as flinch. He was not easily riled, and if Wood thought to intimidate him, he was wrong. “No, actually. I had an abundance of samples brought over and allowed herto pick whatever she desired. I really have no care about the decorations of a room.”
Wood tilted his chin up, eyes discerning. “I see.”
“Please.” Robert gestured toward the room. “Have a look around.”And leave him be.
“I believe I will.” Wood strode over to his wife, slipping a hand behind her back as he feigned interest in the papering on the walls.
An ache formed in Robert’s chest. What would it be like to feel so confident in your wife’s affections that you freely wrapped a hand about her waist even in the company of others? And Robert hadn’t even kissed his in private. And to feel so comfortable as to perform such a loving gesture in front of a near stranger, well, Robert envied that as well. But Louisa and Wood grew up in the same home and likely had the same upbringing and manner. It would not surprise Robert that if she allowed herself to open up to love, she would be the very same—hugging herself to his side as she gazed up at him, teasing him with that mischievous grin of hers. He could picture it so vividly that it hurt. For now, his side was empty and cold, and it was only him on this end of the room as the others formed a happy, openly loving party.
And whose fault was that but his own? While Louisa had pushed Robert away, there was nothing stopping him from walking over and joining them. And then his father’s rules pierced his thoughts, but Robert pushed the desire to blame someone else aside. It was not his father’s fault. For one, Robert had asked for his help. And for another, Robert had always felt uneasy around people he did not have a close relationship with. That was part of the very reason he had needed lessons in social situations in the first place. Louisa was only doing what he had requested of her from the very beginning. Interceding for him so he need not speak.
It wasn’t until Robert’s mind had run through its internal conversation that he noticed his finger tapping away on his leg. He stilled it, then turned at Brooks’ voice as he announced dinner.
The group spun toward the door, making their way over as they continued to chat with one another. But when Louisa arrived at his side, she gestured to her family to go ahead and be seated without them.
The dowager viscountess gave Wood a hesitant glance, and the younger Lady Wood chewed her lip as she watched her husband. Wood glanced at Louisa, but her gaze was fixed on Robert. Wood finally sighed, shaking his head as he strode past his sister in reluctant agreement, and the other two ladies followed.
“What?” Robert asked once they were alone. They were supposed to be the ones to lead them into the dining room as the highest ranking in attendance, which Louisa was fully aware of.
She gave him a soft smile as she turned and looked up at him. And then she did something that shook him to his core. She took his hand, clasping it tightly between hers. “You do not need your rules when you are with my family.”
“Ah.” He nodded, looking to the floor. “I realize that.”
“You do?”
Silence engulfed the expansive room, and he lifted his gaze. “But it is not easy for me.”
“I know.” Her hands tightened even more. Had it been the other way around, his hands clasping hers, the force likely would have hurt. But with her hands holding his so surely, it grounded him. It felt safe. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I fear I do not know the answer to that. This is just the way I am, Louisa. I do not think I can change at this point in my life.”
“You changed for me,” she said, her thumb running along his knuckles.
He swallowed. “I did not really change for you. I just let you into my walls.”
She jerked her eyes up to his, pulling her lips into her mouth before nodding. “Perhaps it will take time, but surely you could let others within those walls as well. Let them see what I see.”
He found himself leaning nearer. “And what do you see?” He wanted to know more than anything. To understand what thoughts were in that head of hers and how she truly felt about him. If only he could help Louisa tear down her own walls.
A nervous laugh slipped out, and she looked at the door. “Perhaps now is not the time for such a conversation. I believe we are holding up dinner.”
“That didn’t matter to you when we were talking about me.” He used their joined hands to pull her closer.
She gave a startled gasp as she locked eyes with him. Finally, she took a slow breath, her chest rising as her eyes trailed over his face. “I see a man who is accustomed to being alone. Even if that isn’t what you truly want.”
“And do you see anything else?” He ran his thumb over the edge of her palm.
