“No, it’s fine. This might be the first time I’ve felt normal since then, to be honest with you.” And I am being honest. Sharing little pieces of myself. She isn’t the only person who knows what it feels like not being able to trust.
A smile tugs the corners of her mouth. “What was your favorite thing to order?”
“French toast and sausage. They have those really thick links, you know what I mean?” A waitress goes past carrying a tray loaded with the food, and I smile wide before I can help it. “They still have them. I know what I’m ordering.”
It’s just as good as I remember. Maybe better. I’m sitting on the other side of a vast stretch of time now. I know how dark life can be in a way I couldn’t have understood back in those days, when my family was intact and life felt secure.
By the time we leave, we’re both groaning, weighed down by pancakes and French toast, sausage and bacon. “I shouldn’thave gotten the chocolate chips,” she groans, one hand over her stomach.
“Sure. The chocolate chips were the problem.” When she gives me a sour smirk, my laughter fills the air. “Come on. We have more to do today.”
Much more. There is such a simple joy in watching her react when I take her shopping. “Get whatever you want,” I have to tell her time and again. Even now, she keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m going to fix that.
By early afternoon, though, she’s starting to loosen up. “Makeup, too?” she asks when I steer her in the direction of a Sephora.
“I meant it when I told you to get whatever you want. Not that you have to,” I point out before we enter the store. “You don’t have to wear anything you don’t want. I thought it might be something you’d like, that’s all.”
She peers inside, chewing her lip. “We’ve already bought so much today.”
Yes, the back of the SUV probably drags a little closer to the ground now thanks to all of the bags loaded in. “It means nothing. What’s the point of having money if you don’t use it?”
“You’re right. Okay.” Then we go inside, and she sits down with one of the associates who is about to have a very nice day. Once she gets the idea this is a free-for-all, she starts bringing out products which she shows Aurora how to apply. All of it makes me glad I’m not a woman, because it seems like a lot of work.
“I can’t believe it.” We’re both holding bags as we leave the store with one last stop in mind. As we load them into the car, she admits, “I kind of can’t wait to put all of this on.”
“Have fun with it. That’s what it’s for, right?” There’s an Apple Store a few doors down. “Come on. We’re getting you a phone of your own, too.”
“Am I dreaming?” She doesn’t hesitate to go inside. She’s learning, loosening up. I’m the lucky bastard who gets to watch it.
After buying the phone, we stop off at a food truck for hot dogs, which we eat while walking through the park. The sun is shining, a soft breeze shakes the trees all around us. “This has been the nicest day,” she tells me as we stroll.
“It has been.” What I wouldn’t give for more of them, a lifetime’s worth. She could bankrupt me, and I wouldn’t care. It would be worth it to see her smile like this. To watch her light up. She stops to crumble what’s left of her bun on the ground for the pigeons, then laughs in delight when they swarm around us. Being with her is so easy. It makes me wish we hadn’t wasted so much time as enemies.
I’m still reflecting on that as we drive home. “I’m going to need more closet space for all of this!” she points out, giggling, looking over her shoulder at all of the shopping bags.
“Then you’ll have a dressing room of your own. No problem.”
“Liam, come on.” She giggles weakly. “I was kidding.”
“I’m not. When are you going to get it through your head? I mean it when I say I want you to have everything you need, and that means more closet space. Get used to it,” I warn her. For now, she looks perplexed, still skeptical. It’s going to take time, that’s all. She’ll understand.
Everything becomes clearer for her once we’re upstairs, loaded down with bags, laughing as we stumble our way through the penthouse. “There’s one more surprise for you today,” I announce once we’ve dropped everything off in the bedroom.
“I’m not sure if I can take any more surprises.” She looks around with her hands on top of her head. “I don’t even know if I have the energy to put all of this away.”
“Trust me. You’ll like this.” At least, I hope she will. With her hand in mine, I lead her to my office. Our office.
Her jaw practically hits the floor when she sees how everything has been rearranged while we were out. Instead of my desk sitting at the far end of the room, there are two desks, facing each other from opposite walls. Her laptop sits on one of them. “This is our space now. You’re going to need it,” I remind her while she gapes in awe. “Once you start school, you’ll need a dedicated place to do your work.”
Her eyebrows pull together when she looks up at me. “Do you want me to be in here with you? Together?” Like it’s the most shocking thing imaginable.
“Yes. Not to watch over you,” I add in case she gets the wrong idea. “This has nothing to do with control. It has to do with… well, just wanting to be with you. As much as I can.”
She releases a silent laugh, looking over the space. “I love it.”
Before I have the chance to let her words sink in, she throws her arms around my neck and plants a kiss on my mouth. “I absolutely love it!”
Does she know? Has it hit her? That’s the first time she’s ever showed spontaneous affection like that. The moment is so precious, I don’t want to say anything and risk ruining it. All I can do is hug her back and know what I’ve suspected before now.
