Dex shrugs. "A lot of sit-ups."
"I was hoping genetics was good enough," Andy throws back.
"You have abs," I remind him. "They're just different."
"Let's see," Dex teases. "Want to compare?"
Andy, not to back down from a challenge, whips off his T-shirt. His body is cut in a naturally masculine kind of way. He flexes his stomach muscles as he lies beside Dex, his eyes darting back and forth as he inspects each with a critical assessment. A tendril of jealousy twists inside me. I'm the skinny one.
"Nate?" Andy says.
"He doesn't have to," Dex rushes out.
I don't like feeling as though they have to treat me with kids gloves. With awkward, shaky movements, I take off my shirt and toss it on the floor.
"We're triplets," Dex says, "so we pretty much are a slightly different variation of the same good-looking guy."
Dex's hand flitters over my naked stomach and I tighten in anticipation.
Of what, dumbass?
My mind goesthereagain, threatening to make dinner come back up.
"I don't feel so good," I rumble. "I'm going to sleep."
After slipping my jeans off, I yank the covers up and close my eyes. Andy sighs like he wants to say something to me but bites his tongue. He locks up the trailer and shuts off all the lights. In the darkness, I can relax. No one can see the look of unmasked want on my face.
Sometimes, I want Dex and Andy.
In really fucked up ways.
The bed quivers and squeaks as we all move to get settled. I end up with my leg thrown back over Dex's and my face against his neck, breathing him in. My fingers skitter across his chest to touch Andy. When my touch brushes over his nipple, he hisses and covers my hand with his. I wait for him to release it, but he doesn't.
Dex's hand strokes over the back of my head, fingers raking through my hair. He presses a kiss to my head and murmurs that he loves me. My heart cracks open as realization floods in.
I can't ever lose this.
This connection we have.
One day, though, I'll be forced to watch them leave me one after the other. They'll find boyfriends and I'll be all alone. The black fog of depression clouds around me, chilling my flesh and turning my heart hard as ice. Tears of despair burn at my eyes and I fight the emotion clogging my throat.
"What's wrong?" Dex asks, his voice pained as though he can feel the clawing inside my chest.
"I don't want to lose this," I whisper.
"No one's going anywhere," Andy says in a fierce tone. "We just got a damn bed."
I can't help but chuckle. "But one day—"
"No," Dex growls. "It'll always be us."
As brothers...not more.
My stupid mind is fucking with me.
Tilting my head up, I try to see him in the dark. What would Dex do if he could see the unfiltered desire in my eyes? Would he cast me away or return the look? My fantasies mix with hope that I could make them a reality. Sometimes I'm too much of a dreamer—stuck inside my head wishing for things I'll never have. Like our "when we're rich" game. Mentally buying things that aren't real and never will be.
Andy brings my hand to his mouth, kissing it so sweetly my chest aches. Dex nuzzles his nose against mine. It was something he always did when we were small if I was scared or upset. I yearn for him to press his lips to mine. So much so, I pucker my lips, needing to feel them.
