I continued to put the lotion on her, then put her pajamas on her. Once she was dressed and had her little bonnet on, I placed her under the covers. She was out and wasn’t worried about a story or anything else.
I stood on the side of the bed and stared at her for a minute. I still couldn’t get over the fact that we had a child in our house that we were responsible for. And she wasn’t ours biologically, but she wasours.
I felt Arsel behind me before he put his hands on my shoulders. My body automatically leaned against him, and it wasn’t just because I was so tired. Arsel had always been my safe place, even when we didn’t agree on everything.
Arsel kissed the side of my head, then wrapped his arms around me. “She’s perfect,” he whispered.
I leaned back and dropped my head back onto his chest. He looked down at me and smiled.
“She is.”
It took us a minute to leave the room because we both couldn’t stop looking at her.
“Let’s go downstairs.” Arsel grabbed my hand and led me out of the room.
Arsel held onto my hand as we walked down the steps. When my foot hit the bottom of the stairs, I stopped in my tracks.
Candles were lit on the table in front of the couch, and there were two glasses of wine. I walked closer to the couch and giggled when I saw the bowl of honey-roasted cashews.
“How do you know I eat these?” I turned to Arsel, who sported a sneaky smirk.
“A reliable source. Let’s sit.” He motioned to the couch, and I sat down, then he sat next to me.
I knew it wasn’t anyone but my grandma who told him.
Music played lowly through the speaker across the room. I felt emotional again because this was one of the little things that Arsel used to do before. For me, it wasn’t about the big dates or gifts. It was the small things that he did that I appreciated more.
“What made you do this?” I asked as I grabbed a few cashews.
“A little token of my appreciation. I know the circumstances aren’t ideal, but I’m glad you are back home. I told you I want to work on us, and this is the first step.”
Arsel picked up the two glasses and passed me one.
“Thank you.”
He lifted his glass toward me, so I put mine against his.
“To rekindling our romance.”
My cheeks warmed as Arsel licked his lips. His eyes held so much love in them for me; it made my stomach flutter.
We clinked glasses, then drank our wine.
“I have to say, I understand why you wanted to wait. Having a small child ain’t for the weak. I haven’t even been able to get any writing in. I’m sorry that I tried to rush you.”
At some point during our day out, I gained a moment of clarity. It had been hard juggling life with a child who needed constant attention.
“Come’ere, baby.” Arsel’s voice dropped low.
I didn’t waste any time climbing into his lap, because I knew that was where he wanted me. Anytime Arsel’s voice dropped low, I knew where his mind went. Arsel loved intimacy, and not just sexual. We used to live in each other’s skin when we could.
Arsel wrapped his arms around my waist and held me.
“You don’t have to apologize. It was something we discussed, so you weren’t wrong for feeling the way you did. I want to give you all the babies your heart desires when the time is right. I just didn’t want you to have to do everything by yourself if I’m working too many hours a week. We are going to do the best wecan for Mikayla, and when the time is right, we will have a baby of our own. Okay?”
I searched his face for something, and all I got was that he was serious. I wasn’t going to bring up having a baby again. Like he said, when the time was right, we would have our baby.
“Yes.”
