“I am. I can’t let you do this alone, and definitely not in a different household. We agreed together to be her godparents, so we have to do this together.” He moved a little closer to me. “And I want to work things out with us. I know it may not happen overnight, but I missed the fuck out of you, baby.”
I could see the sincerity in his eyes, and it made me feel like going home was the right thing to do. It wasn’t fair to my grandmother for Mikayla and me to be in her house, even though she didn’t mind. She raised me, and she should be enjoying her life, not spending her days with a toddler.
“I miss you too, Arsel. I think we could come back to the house, but I think I’ll sleep in the guest room.”
His shoulders slumped, but I wasn’t quite ready to just jump back into things like we hadn’t been apart.
“I don’t like the idea, but I’ll play by your rules. For now. I know everything will be an adjustment for us, but we will work this out. We will get through this together. He kissed my cheek, then stood. “Let’s get you two packed up so we can go home.”
Home. The word made my temperature rise. I missed my home just as much as I missed my husband. We purchased the house we had because of me, so the fact that I hadn’t been there made me sad. I was also happy to go back there, even though I was uncertain about everything.
My grandmother’s house was comfortable, but it wasn’t home for me.
“Okay.” I stood from the couch and took his outstretched hand.
We told my grandmother what was going on, and she was excited. She kept Mikayla with her while Arsel and I packed our things. I didn’t have a lot for Mikayla since it had only been a few days, but she had enough. I kept some of her stuff there because I knew we would still spend time at my grandmother’s house, even if we didn’t live there.
There were so many things Arsel and I needed to discuss, but it would have to wait until we got to the house. I wanted to get there and get Mikayla acclimated to it before her bedtime. I would probably have to let her sleep in bed with me until we could get a room set up for her.
It only took about an hour to get everything packed and loaded into Arsel’s car. He left a little before us, so Mikayla and I could say goodbye to my grandma.
“The Lord and her parents gave you two that baby for a reason. I think this is the first step to getting your marriage back on track,” my grandmother said as we sat on the couch.
“Maybe you are right. I just want to do the right thing for this little one.” I kissed the top of Mikayla’s head as she rested on my chest. She’d fallen asleep after she had lunch and played a little while Arsel and I packed.
“You will. Go on and get home. Walter should be coming over any minute.”
I groaned when she shimmied her shoulders.
“Don’t be out being grown,” I teased as I stood.
“You need to be grown with your husband once that baby goes to bed.” She placed a kiss on Mikayla’s cheek. “Go on now. Call me later or at least text me.” She winked and opened the front door.
I shook my head and laughed as I walked down the steps to my car. My grandmother stood on the porch and watched me until I was inside. I had remote start, so the car was already warm. I waved at Grandma so she could close the door. It was too cold for her to have the door wide open. Once she waved back and closed the door, I pulled out of the driveway.
“Let’s go home, baby girl.”
Hours later, Arsel sat in the living room. I was surprised when we got to the house, and he had already converted one of therooms for Mikayla. He even baby-proofed the whole house. I was grateful for the effort he put in, and it made me look at him in a different light.
We had dinner together and played with Mikayla before I bathed her. Arsel even read her a bedtime story while I showered.
“How is this going to work?” I asked after I took a sip of the wine Arsel poured for us.
“I don’t know for a fact, if I’m being honest. I do know that I will do the best I can to help you in any way that I can. My schedule is still kind of hectic, but I’m here, baby. I’m not going anywhere, and I’m not letting you leave again. I know you said you want to sleep in the other room, and I’ll respect that. But make no mistakes about it. I’m not giving you too much time, Janiyah. It has been months since I got to touch you, hug you, kiss you. Shit, feel you. I’m going to show you how much I want this and want you. Be prepared, baby. I’m going to show you why you fell in love with me in the first place.”
The confidence in his words made me want to jump his bones, but I had to calm myself down. I believed him, but I needed him to prove it.
“You don’t think we are in over our heads, do you?” Signing those papers was the right thing to do, but at the same time, I felt like I hastily made my decision. I couldn’t imagine us being the reason why Mikayla went into foster care.
“A little.” Arsel chuckled. “I know we can do it, though. Monica and Trevor knew it too.”
Tears pricked my eyes as I thought about the loss of our friends.
“Come here.” Arsel lifted his arm, and I scooted closer to him. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head. “We got this, and I got y’all.”
Our life was about to make a huge adjustment, but I would do everything in my power to make sure that little girl had the best life she could have. I also looked forward to seeing what Arsel had up his sleeve.
I loved that my wife was back home, but I didn’t like that she insisted on sleeping in the guest room. I wanted her in bed with me, but I couldn’t rush her. I knew we were in the space we were because of me, so I had to move on her time.
