‘Perhaps my choice of words was a little harsh…’ I held my hands up. ‘But I was just saying out loud what a lot of people already think.’
‘Which is?’ Sarah shot me another death stare.
‘That romance novels are…’ I paused, weighing up my response. ‘Predictable.’
The gasps were audible.
On reflection, being less than complimentary about an entire genre, especially given the fact that we were having this conversation in a library that was dedicated to romance, wasn’t my smartest move, but everyone was acting like I’d just committed murder.
‘See!’ Sarah said.
‘You didnotjust say that!’ Jess looked horrified.
It was official. The chances of me leaving this room alive with my genitals intact were zero.
‘Honestly?’ I said, deciding it’d be better to tell the truth and accept the consequences. ‘Kind of…’ The whole room fell so silent that if I dropped a feather, it’d land with thump. ‘The couple always live happily ever after at the end.’
‘But that’s the point!’ Sarah snapped. ‘It’scomforting. Life’s depressing, so readers need the reassurance of knowing that everything’s going to work out.’
‘But that’s exactly why I said it’s unrealistic!’ I countered. ‘That doesn’t happen in real life.’
‘Fuckreal life!’ Sarah spat back. ‘War, murder, death, disease, bills, tax, cheating exes, shitty families… we already have enough of the dumpster fire calledrealityto deal with. We read forescapism. So we can get away from all that for a few hours. And even if we know what will happen in the end, it’sabout thejourney. All of the exciting things that happen on the way to the couple finding love.’
‘Please!’ I scoffed as I rolled my eyes. ‘If the “journey” isn’t predictable, then why does every first kiss get interrupted by a phone call? And why do all the men look the same? Only two per cent of the global population have green eyes, but in the romance novels I’ve read, ninety-nine per cent of the heroes have them! And for the love of God, why do they always have an argument towards the end of the book, that could be solved with a two-minute conversation?’
‘Because…’ Sarah stuttered and I flashed a mischievous smile, knowing she wouldn’t be able to answer because she knew that what I’d said was true. ‘You’re exaggerating. That doesn’t happen inallromance novels, just… anyway, I’m not even going to waste my breath trying to educate you. You’re a dick!’
One point to me.
‘Now, now, you two,’ Theo jumped in. ‘Let’s just try and talk this through. Ben, we’re all entitled to our own opinions, but yucking someone else’s yum is not okay. And this is aromancelibrary, so it should go without saying that we shouldallshow the genre the respect it deserves.’
‘Exactly!’ Sarah snapped back. ‘Romance should be celebrated, notdenigrated.’
‘Yes!’ Jess agreed.
Jesus.
They were blowing thiswayout of proportion.
I was about to tell Sarah and Jess that they needed to chill the fuck out, but I’d learnt a long time ago that telling a woman to calm down was the fastest way to get kicked in the balls. And given how much I’d clearly pissed them off already, now was probably a good time to keep my mouth shut if I wanted to reach my thirty-first birthday.
‘So, Jess, Theo, what should his punishment be?’ Sarah spat. ‘Shall we tie him to a pole and get our members to throw romance novels at him? If we pick some thick romantasy ones, they’ll definitely land with a thud.’ A satisfied grin spread across her face. ‘Then again, he doesn’t deserve to have our gorgeous books hurled at him. Not even if they accidentally hit him in the nuts.’
‘Harsh!’ I winced.
‘Now you know what he really thinks about romance, surely you’re not going to allow him to work here?’ Sarah put her hands on her hips.
‘Seriously?’ I scoffed. Now she was taking thiswaytoo far.
‘Jess, can I talk to you for a second, please?’ Theo said.
‘Good idea,’ Jess replied and they both left the room.
‘You should pack your bags.’ Sarah glared. ‘There’s no way you’ll be staying here after what you just said.’
‘We’ll see.’ I smiled.
Yes, I knew Jess and Theo weren’t happy with what I’d said, but I was confident that they knew me well enough to realise that in the grand scheme of things, I’d be an asset to their operations here.
