‘It’s amazing! I’m currently relaxing in a hammock, sipping on some rum punch whilst Theo’s gone to the gym. It’s a hard life, but someone’s gotta do it!’ She laughed before telling me all about the places they’d visited so far. ‘Anyway, enough about me. How are you? Are you and Ben still swinging from thechandeliers?’ I swallowed hard and my stomach bottomed out. ‘Sarah? What’s up?’
‘Nothing.’
‘I know something’s wrong. Tell me!’ she said firmly. I sighed. ‘Sarah!’
‘Ben’s left, but don’t worry, I’m fine.’
‘What?’ she shouted. ‘What happened?’
‘You’re on your honeymoon! I’ll tell you when you get back.’
‘No! Tell me everything.Now!’
I knew resistance was futile, so I filled her in.
‘Oh, Sarah. I’m so sorry. I knew something was wrong when I was getting ready for the wedding. I should’ve probed you more. You should’ve told me.’
‘What, so I could ruin your big day? You already warned me to be careful and said it’d end in tears and you were right.’ I sniffed.
‘Oh, hon! I wish I was there to give you a big hug. Thanks for looking out for me, but I feel like a shitty friend for not noticing what you were going through. I knew he’d said early on that he’d leave at some point, but I thought after you two grew closer, he’d changed his mind because Theo didn’t say anything. I mean, he mentioned that Ben was going away with Tom, but I got the impression it was just a holiday. Not that he was leaving for good.’
‘Yep. He’s left. Even said I could take over the flat.’
‘Shit.’
‘And Theo probably didn’t want you to worry before the wedding either.’
‘Maybe. I’ll speak to him once he’s back. Don’t give up hope, though. I saw the way Ben looked at you. I’m sure you’ll hear from him again.’
‘Maybe. But with feedback on my book outline.’
‘You’ve finished it?’
‘Yeah. Just before the wedding!’
‘That’s brilliant! I’m so proud of you! But also pissed that you didn’t tell me! But mainly proud!’ She laughed. ‘So Ben’s reading it?’
‘He said he’d send feedback in ten days. But he’s going to be busy travelling, so I won’t hold my breath.’
‘Ten days from when?’
‘Not sure. Could be ten days from your wedding day or ten days from when I sent it on the Monday.’
‘Which means you’ll deffo hear from him this Wednesday. Thursday at the latest. That’s not long to wait.’
Right now, that felt like a lifetime. And it was better that I didn’t get my hopes up. Ben was probably just being polite. Like when you leave a job and everyone says ‘keep in touch!’ when you know they’ve got zero intention of doing so.
‘I’m just going to try and get on with my life.’
Easier said than done. There were reminders of Ben everywhere. Especially in his flat.
Even though I’d returned Ben’s key on the night of Jess and Theo’s wedding, when I went to the office the next day, I found it in an envelope addressed to me.
I knew Ben had left it so that I could go to his flat to write. But when I’d tried working at the desk he’d made me, I’d remember things that we did or said together.
By last Thursday, I’d decided that as much as I loved the setup Ben had created for me, it had too many memories. So I stayed at the B&B.
It was also hard at work.
