‘Goodbye.’ I waved pathetically.
And as I watched Sarah walk away, my heart shattered.
I’d always scoffed at the happy endings of romance novels.
But that was before. Now I craved one.
In many ways the time Sarah and I had spent together mirrored her favourite novels. Except the finale wasn’t a joyful one.
I supposed it just proved what I’d always believed: fairy-tale endings didn’t exist in real life.
Which was a damn shame.
71
SARAH
Coffee was needed.
Approximately two barrels of it.
Then again, make it three.
It’d been a week since Ben left, and if I’d slept more than a few hours a night, I reckoned that was a miracle.
I’d lain awake night after night asking the same question:why?
I still didn’t understand his reasons for leaving.
We got on so well.
He clearly had feelings for me. Okay, I knew it wasn’t love, only I was the idiot who’d fallen that hard for him, but still, he liked me, right? So why not stay and make a go of it?
It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried to explain. He’d said it was best to end it on a high before either of us got hurt, but why was he so sure that would happen?
His ex did a number on him, that was for sure, but he had to know I was different, right? I told Ben repeatedly that I thought he was amazing.
It was all so confusing.
But I guessed what they said was true:if someone tells you something, believe them. I couldn’t beg him to be with me. Ben needed tochooseto be with me. Otherwise, it’d never work.
And that realisation was when the self-doubt crept in again. That the reason he didn’t choose to be with me was because although he liked me, it wasn’t enough to stay. I wasn’t worth the risk. Maybe I wasn’t posh or pretty enough.
Try sleeping withthatshit swirling around in your head.
I wondered if he’d taken my gift with him and if he’d opened it yet?
Maybe he was worried that I was so pissed about him leaving that I’d put something bad inside it to get him arrested at the airport. No. That was just my overreactive imagination talking.
Even if he’d opened it, he was probably still hiking, so couldn’t message.
I had to stop thinking about him. Once I’d got an extra-large coffee from Love & Lattes, I headed to the office and attempted to get to work.
Four hours later, I admitted defeat. I’d hardly got any work done this morning and staring at the computer screen wasn’t helping, so I took my sandwich to the beach. Just as I was about to start eating, my phone rang. It was Jess.
‘Hey! How’s Jamaica?’ I asked.
Jess had WhatsApped a few photos whilst she was away, but I’d told her not to stress about sending pics, just to enjoy her honeymoon with herhusband. Still wasn’t used to calling Theo that.
