She holds my arm in a half-tight, half-frightened grip and nods to me.
“Let’s finish this then,” I say, rising with her, right by my side.
Where I always want her to be.
CHAPTER 36
ROSE CALLOWAY
I may be calmerafter Connor’s short talk and reassuring presence, but no one else looks as mild-mannered. Ryke has his arms crossed over his chest, staring between Lily and Loren who uncommonly start fighting.
She asked him if he drank booze. And the one question pummeled him backwards. Her words, her feelings towards him, mean more than whatever Ryke, Connor, and I can say or do.
“I just…I don’t understand why you wouldn’t get your pills to prove it,” she says in a small voice.
“So you’re going to take their side over mine?” he chokes.
“I’m not taking sides.” Her face contorts as she thinks about everything. “I just want the truth, Lo.”
“I didn’t drink.” He shakes his head repeatedly, but his eyes redden the longer he does so, telling us a different story. “But I can’t prove it. I stopped taking Antabuse months ago.”
“You did what?!” Ryke shouts.
Lo touches his chest in defense. “They were driving me nuts! I’m paranoid about everything I eat—if it’s accidentally cooked in alcohol. I picture myself puking from a shitty fucking meal. I can’t do that for the rest of my goddamn life!”
Before his brother can respond, Lo turns his attention back to Lily. “You have to believe me,” he says, desperation lacing his voice.
“I do,” she says, no hesitation.
Relief floods his face. He walks to the bed and reaches for a hug.
But then something strange happens. Lily pushes Loren in the chest and then she points her finger at him. “But it’s not okay. It’s not.” Her chin quivers and she tries to gather this shadowy strength that likes to flit away from her. “You can’t stop taking them just because it drives you nuts. And it’s not okay that you kept this from me…fromus…”
They’re both crying now, and it feels intrusive watching them fight like this.
“My chest is on fire,” I tell Connor. I really want to leave. But we still have to talk to Lily about the videotape.
He rubs my back and kisses my temple.
It feels good. To have him. In these moments, I can’t imagine reverting back to being alone. I would feel outnumbered and unspun.
Loren holds my sister in his arms. Or maybe she’s holding him. It’s hard to tell.
“We’re in a fight, just so you know,” she whispers. “I’ll sleep in Daisy’s bedroom.”
His face twists in hurt now. “You haven’t had sex in three days. I was going to…” He drifts off as Lily shakes her head.
“I don’t care about sex. I care about you being healthy and not drinking.”
I’m grinning. I can’t stop it. It’s fucking happening. My chest lifts. Doused with water. Those wordsI don’t care about sexhave never left that girl’s mouth.
Loren looks just as surprised, just as in awe as me.
“We have another issue,” Ryke interjects.
I glare hatefully. “We don’t have to bring that up now,” I say. My sister just denounced sex, the compulsive, harmful kind. We should throw her a party not question her about the alleged bathroom blow job.
Ryke looks at me like I lost brain cells and then grabs the camera. “Watch this,” he tells Lily and Loren.
