‘Have they been getting worse?’ Lila asked with a knowing smile.
‘Yeah… Why is that?’
‘I remember my nightmares getting so monumental. They’d leave me with headaches that lasted for days and then I said yes to being with your father. As soon as that decision was made, I’ve not had another nightmare since. Not a single one. I don’t think I even dream anymore, come to think of it.’
‘So what does that mean exactly?’
‘I’ve got my theories but it’s hard to know when you’ve never known anyone like yourself before. Now, I don’t believe in all this “other half” nonsense. I don’t believe you’re only half of a person until you meet someone and you create a whole. However, I do believe in soulmates. I believe that there are people in this world, multiple people, be it friends, family or partners, whose souls are made of the same stuff as yours. Like you’re all cut from the same fabric of the universe and when you find each other, something clicks into place and things make more sense than they used to.’
‘So you think you were having nightmares because…’
‘Because something big and life-changing was about to happen and I think my little superpower was letting me know in the only way it knew how.’ Lila shrugged. ‘I could be wrong, there’s no way to know really, but if the same thing is happening to you, I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m right. Met anyone special lately?’ Lila raised an eyebrow knowingly and Lorelai blushed, quickly brushing away the question.
Eventually Lorelai’s father came to join them when their laughter became too loud for him to hear his own guitar playing. Lorelai quickly put the letter in her pocket and from then on, they had to quash the talk about their new-found solidarity, but by then they had got most of it out of their system. Instead, they shared knowing looks and small stifled smiles. Lorelai felt a warmth she’d never felt before. It burned from her centre, from the inside out, and she could feel it pouring off her in waves and it settled on her parents – towards her mother gently sipping tea, and her father drumming his restless musical fingers on the kitchen table.This must be how Grayson felt when he talked about his family.The thought was instant and so intrusive Lila noticed Lorelai’s face change immediately.
‘Everything alright?’ she asked in concern.
Lorelai’s lip wobbled and she simply shook her head. She thought of her mother and her father, her grandmother and her grandfather, and then of herself and Grayson. Lorelai had had no manual that told her how to navigate through life, doing what she could do. She’d had to make it up as she went along. Now here she was with two shining examples of women who had led not only happy lives, but had had happy marriages, too.They had chosen to stay close to the people they loved because it was less painful than living without them. Lila turned to her husband and gave his hand a gentle pat.
‘I’m going to head up to bed,’ he said, taking his cue to leave. ‘Love you, pickle.’ He walked around to give his daughter’s hair a ruffle before kissing the top of her head. He squeezed her shoulder and then left the room, humming to himself.
‘So? Is there another piece of the jigsaw? You’ve told me about Joanie and how brilliant she is, and everything that happened with Riggs. But when I asked if you’d met anyone recently, you went as pale as Aunt Nettie from down the road.’
‘Isn’t she a hundred and two?’
‘Exactly. So there’s alotmore to your story, isn’t there? You mentioned a Grayson earlier, but then changed the subject quickly…’ Lila’s voice trailed off in a question and she raised her eyebrows.
Lorelai couldn’t contain it any longer. Tears poured from her eyes, and her lips curled and twisted with each heaving sob. Her mother’s hands found hers, and Lorelai leaned forward and rested her forehead against them until she was back in control and could speak again.
‘I pushed him away.’ Lorelai spoke against the wood of the table, the words loud in her ears. ‘I pushed him away because I saw how he was going to die, and it was brutal and soon. So soon.’ Lorelai’s head was spinning and no matter how hard she squeezed her temples it wouldn’t slow down. Grayson was caught up in the whirlpool of her mind. Every word he’d ever said to her echoed around her head, his voice crystal clear in her ears. She could feel the warmth of his lips against hers and the markthey had left on her heart. With each minute Grayson drew closer to his end, the stronger the effect he had had on Lorelai, the deeper his pull, as though something inside her was willing, urging, pushing her to act.
‘Is there anything you can do to stop it?’ her mother said, reading her mind.
‘Is… is that allowed?’ Lorelai lifted her head and pushed her hair back so she could get a good look at her mother’s face. Was she joking? Did she mean it?
‘What do you mean is it allowed? Who do you need to give you permission?’
‘I don’t… I don’t know. Joanie and I figured out that Icanchange people’s fates, but I don’t know if that is something I’m necessarilymeantto do.’
Her mother’s eyes widened. ‘How did you figure that out?’ Lila sipped her tea, a curious smile playing at the edge of her lips.
Lorelai had never felt closer to her. She explained what had happened when Riggs had kissed her and how that had led to her night of seeking answers.
‘I kissed this guy called James. I met him at the bar that night. He wasn’t a… a boyfriend or anything. And I saw him die on his bike. But then I wanted to see if my theory was correct, so I asked Joanie to do something to his bike to stop him riding it that night. I meant for her to let the air out of his tyres or something, but she only went and stole it.’ Lorelai smiled as her mother’s eyes creased with laughter. ‘And when I kissed him again, he died in a different way. And he was much older. But that was a one-off. I’ve never tried to interfere at all before then or since, because what if I’m changing more than just that one person’s fate? I don’tknow anything about the bigger consequences, and… well, isn’t it…’ Lorelai swallowed down what she already knew was a stupid question, but it slipped back up her throat before she could stop it. She had to know. ‘Isn’t it like time travel?’
‘You’ve spent far too much time at the cinema,’ her mother said kindly.
‘I know it sounds ridiculous, but there could be repercussions from stopping someone’s death. I thought that I would throw the whole universe off kilter if I changed how someone was going to die. Whenever time travel is involved in films there are rules. Don’t change the past or it’ll change the future. If I stopped someone from dying does that mean someone else has to die in their place? Or the time they gain back in life gets taken away from someone else to restore the balance? You know, that sort of thing.’
‘Sweetheart, I don’t have the answers, but I have to believe that we can see what we see for a reason. Otherwise, why do we go through this pain? What’s thepointof it, if we can’t help the people we love? I know seeing Grayson die was awful but I truly believe you can stop it, that you can change his fate. Your grandmother saved your grandfather after all, and nothing bad happened to them.’
‘What about Dad?’ Lorelai asked, suddenly panicked. Would her father die when she wasn’t prepared?
Lila waved her panic away. ‘Your dad is going to be fine. He has lived a safe life and his death very much follows suit. He’s not about to die in a boating accident or by parachute failure, is he?’ Lila tutted and rolled her eyes affectionately. ‘Luckily, I never had much to worry about on that front. He’s always had a long life ahead of him.’
‘Always? Has his death ever changed?’
‘It has but only because I got him to quit smoking, eat better and drink less! But the end of his life has always been far away and unextraordinary. It’s peaceful. Just how I like it. And it hasn’t changed for a very long time. I never had to intervene because what I saw, well, it was OK… But, darling, you’re overthinking this. If you can save Grayson, why shouldn’t you?’
