Joanie’s eyes flashed for a moment and then her shoulders dropped in resignation. ‘Fine, you hooligan. But I’m doing this for the greater good.’
‘And for me?’ Lorelai gave Joanie a nudge.
‘Don’t push it.’ Joanie rolled up the sleeves of her jacket and casually walked towards the bike rack. Lorelai waited until she was kneeling by the bike before crossing the road and heading towards James.
‘James?’ she called.
‘Hey. Hi. Hey.’ He quickly stubbed his cigarette out on the wall and pushed his hair back. ‘You disappeared so quickly earlier. Is everything OK?’
‘Yes, yeah. It’s just… can I ask you something?’
He walked towards her. ‘Sure.’
Lorelai closed the distance between them, her lips inches from his. ‘Kiss goodbye?’
Lorelai felt sick at the idea of seeing the car hit James again. What if she did see the same thing? That would mean her kiss had sealed his fate, made his cause of death inevitable.But what if you’re wrong?That little voice in her head was getting louder. She had to know, for her sake. Grayson’s face suddenly flashedin her mind. She wanted to be close to him. She wanted to know what it was like to kiss him, but she’d never be able to if she didn’t learn the truth. Lorelai was shaking as James’s lips touched hers. This was it.
‘OH MY GOD!’ Lorelai yelled into James’s mouth as the vision became clearer.
He stumbled backwards, clutching his chest. ‘Jesus Christ! You scared the shit out of me! What is it?! What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing! Sorry! No, nothing’s wrong. Nothing’s wrong at all! I have to go. Sorry. Thank you! Yes! Thank you!’ Lorelai stumbled over her feet as she ran from James, waving at him wildly. She found Joanie loitering in a doorway further down the road.
‘Joanie!’ she shrieked.
‘What? What is it? How’d it go?’
‘He didn’t die on his bike! He’s going to die in a hospital somewheredecadesfrom now. He looked a lot older. We changed things!Youchanged things!’
‘Hooray! I mean, not hooray, but… oh, you know what I mean!’
‘So what did you do? Did you let down his tyres?’
‘How was I going to let down his tyres? All I’ve got in my handbag are a few hair pins and a lipstick!’
‘Then what did you do?’
Joanie took Lorelai’s hand and led her around the corner. James’s bike was propped up against the wall. Joanie rang its bell.
‘The fool hadn’t even chained it up, so you’ll be getting a cab on your own tonight because… I’ve already got my ride home.’
Fourteen
What had Lorelai learned? She had learned that even the deaths of complete strangers would always have an impact. She would never not feel the weight of it press against her chest. She would never forget a single one. Lorelai had replayed Darren’s death in her head over and over. What illness would eventually take him? Would he suffer for long before death came? Why was the ending so bleak for someone so clearly loved? Lorelai had been up half the night wondering and worrying, and when she had fallen asleep, her sleep had been filled with nightmares.
‘Here you go, sunshine.’ Joanie set two mugs of tea down on the bedside table and hopped up onto Lorelai’s bed. ‘So tell me one thing you know now that you didn’t know yesterday.’
Lorelai groaned and sat up. She’d barely been awake when Joanie had barged into her bedroom and slipped under the covers with her. Lorelai had demanded tea before she could even think about the night before.
‘Well? Come on.’ Joanie prodded Lorelai.
‘I guess… I guess I know I’m capable of pushing the boundaries far more than I thought.’
‘Good. What else?’ Joanie pushed.
‘I’m not sealing anyone’s fate when I kiss them. You stealing James’s bike changed his death, which means I’m not creating a fixed end point when I kiss someone. It can change depending on what they do with their lives, the choices they make. I’m just able to see it, and what I see is determined by the path they’re currently on and that point in their life.’ Lorelai said it in one breath, quickly, as though it might not be true if she didn’t get the words out fast enough.
‘Which is a huge win, right?’ Joanie gave her the thumbs up.
