‘Just a heads-up, ladies,’ Darren said in a thick Liverpudlian accent. ‘I’ve watched that bloke over there harass a few women tonight.’ He nodded towards a man wearing a tweed jacket. He was sweating profusely under the lights. ‘Do you want to come and sit with me for a bit? All my mates are outside smoking and I’m lonely upstairs in my booth.’
Lorelai and Joanie agreed, and followed Darren upstairs.
‘Oof,’ Lorelai said, sitting down heavily. ‘My feet needed the break!’
‘I’ll be back in a bit.’ Joanie disappeared and Lorelai knew that she was going to sneak a cigarette from someone outside.
‘Don’t worry, Lorelai,’ Darren said, smiling. ‘You’re safe with me, I promise.’
As they settled down together, Lorelai felt a wave of tiredness wash over her and was grateful for the reprieve.This is hard work,she thought.
‘I reckon that bloke downstairs is doing theplay,’ Darren said, stroking the top of his head. His fingers were adorned with several rings that sparkled in the light.
‘The… play?’ Lorelai drew a blank.
‘You haven’t heard of it? I’m sorry to be the one to tell you but I feel it’s my duty as your new best friend.’ He paused for dramatic effect. ‘The Playis this book, all about how to play girls to get them to sleep with you. There are a bunch of guys that hang around Piccadilly Circus and Soho late at night, trying to pick up young tourists or unsuspecting locals, using the rules ofThe Play. It’s pretty gross.’ Darren grimaced.
‘That’s grim.’
‘Yeah. The book also encourages negging.’
‘Is that when someone gives you a backhanded compliment?’
‘Or a shit sandwich, yeah.’
‘A what?’ Lorelai laughed.
‘A shit sandwich! They say something nice, which is the first slice of bread. Then something horrendous – the shit. And then something nice again. It’s meant to lower self-esteem, which is all part of the play.’
‘Let me try.’ Lorelai flicked her hair behind her ear. ‘Your American accent is so sweet. Oh wait, you’re English? Argh, I usually hate English men but you’re actually not too bad.’
Darren threw his head back and laughed. ‘Yes! Exactly! Or how about this?’ He cocked his head to the side, and looked up at Lorelai with a glint in his eye. ‘I love how you’re hot but like… really dorky. It’s cool; it means you’re more relatable.’
‘That one was subtle. I might have missed that one.’
Darren shook his head gently, shaking away his new persona. ‘I’m ashamed of myself for being such a natural arsehole.’
‘Don’t be – you seem alright, Darren,’ Lorelai said, wondering if Darren could be her third and final kiss of the night. She wasn’t sure she could handle any more after that.
‘Speak of the devil…’ Darren nodded towards the man in the tweed jacket who was swiftly approaching. He stopped at their booth, and stared at Lorelai.
‘Can I help you?’ she said as politely as she could.
‘I’m going to give you my phone and you’re going to put your number in.’
‘I don’t think I am.’
‘You’re feisty, aren’t you? That’s hot. Usually I don’t like overly aggressive women but you make it work.’
Lorelai and Darren looked at each other and then burst into laughter.
‘Oh, mate. That was terrible! Do you really think you had a shot?’ Darren howled.
‘What, and you do?’ the man sneered. He looked Darren up and down.
‘I’ve got way more of a chance with Lorelai than you do.’
The man rolled his eyes and scoffed. Lorelai didn’t like the way he was dismissing Darren. Who did he think he was?
