‘People love love,’ Wesley, the owner, would say with a smug grin as he cashed up each month, ‘but they sure do love to hate!’
Wesley was sweet but he ran a tight ship. He was approaching seventy and although incredibly sprightly and nimble, he was hoping to hand the business over to his son, Riggs, someday soon and retire somewhere quiet by the sea. The only problem was that, frankly, Riggs was a buffoon. Lorelai often wonderedhow The Duchess hadn’t imploded under Riggs’s lack of care, and then would watch Joanie manage everything perfectly and understand exactly what was going on. Joanie worked part-time, splitting her week between the cinema and a fifties-themed burger place down the road where she was forced to wear a babypink wig and roller skates. Yet she still managed to keep the cinema running smoothly, and in half the time Riggs did. Riggs was more interested in eyeing Joanie up than doing a good job. Unfortunately for him, he wasn’t Joanie’s type on account of him being a man.
They were a motley crew, but they made it work. While Joanie focused on the day-to-day, and Riggs did nothing at all, Lorelai was always thinking of ways to bring in more customers. During the day, she realised it was better to throw herself into her work than leave spare time to replay any previous nightmares in her mind. Especially now that they were becoming more vivid and cruel. And her most recent idea to entice a new audience into The Duchess was a welcome distraction – her Page to Screen club.
‘But what exactly is it?’ Riggs asked. Again.
Lorelai sighed. ‘Every month, we’ll pick a book and read it—’
‘So it’s a book club?’ Riggs interrupted, pouring himself a large free drink of 7Up.
‘No,’ Lorelai said tightly, the muscles in her jaw clenching, ‘I haven’t got to its USP yet.’
‘What’s an usp?’ Riggs said it phonetically, and Joanie rolled her eyes.
‘A Unique Selling Point, you idiot.’ Joanie clipped him round the back of the head but even a sharp smack didn’t stop Riggs making doe-eyes at her.
‘I think the book club is a great idea.’ Joanie swept a hand through the short dark-brown curls that sat in a tangled quiff on top of her head.
‘It’s not just a book club. It’s a book clubwith a twist,’ Lorelai said, bouncing with excitement.
‘And the twist is…?’ Riggs asked, slurping from his drink again.
‘We only read books that have been adapted into movies. On the last day of the month, we watch the movie adaptation, and then afterwards we discuss the differences and similarities between the film and the book. The first meeting will be an introduction to the club. A ‘get-to-know-each-other’ type of thing.’ Lorelai paused, suddenly nervous. ‘So… what do you think?’
Riggs shrugged. ‘Sounds dull.’
‘Thanks, Riggs. Constructive as ever.’ Lorelai lifted his bottle and wiped away the sticky ring it had left behind.I dread to think what his bedroom looks like,she thought.
‘Don’t listen to someone who considersFHMa heavy read,’ Joanie said, ignoring the way Riggs was staring at her.
‘People will come, won’t they?’ Lorelai asked, suddenly unsure.
‘They will! I’m sure of it.’ Joanie smiled – and she was right. The sign-up sheet filled up quickly and all the spots were soon taken. All serious applicants, too, except for Riggs who had written ‘Mickey Mouse’. Lorelai wanted to start with something fun and easy-going so she opted forThe Wizard of Oz.
‘A kid’s book?’ Riggs said, poking her copy with a finger.
‘It’s a book, Riggs, it’s not going to bite. Pick it up and reada bit. You might learn a thing or two.’ She swatted him with it and he took it from her, a smirk on his face.
‘From Aslan?’ he said, pointing to the lion linking arms with Dorothy on the cover.
‘Aslan is fromThe Lion, The Witch and… never mind.’ His eyes had already glazed over. ‘Wesley is letting me use the function room, so do not disturb us please.’
Lorelai was determined that the first book club would be a success. She wanted this to become a permanent part of The Duchess’s programme. She bought custard creams and bourbons, as well as two travel kettles so everyone could make fresh tea in the function room during their discussions. She had just finished pinning up the WELCOME sign she’d made herself when the first sign-ups arrived.
Lorelai wasn’t entirely sure what she was expecting but it certainly wasn’t the ragtag group that arrived. There were the Shaws, a couple in their mid-thirties who brought their own wine (two bottles for an hour-long meeting) and plastic cups. Next there was Mrs Blenheim, who only answered questions with a nod or a shake of the head, both of which usually brought on a hacking smoker’s cough. Nadia, Shanice, Sue and Meera, all mid- to late-twenties and friends from high school, had signed up together and were using the Page to Screen club as a reason to meet up once a month. As Lorelai mingled she met Joy, a trans woman, and her boyfriend James whose last name, she enjoyed learning, was Love, and insisted on being called as such. Their hands were constantly entwined. The final person had yet to arrive and it was already quarter past six. She couldn’t wait any longer.
‘I think we had best begin. Please take your seats, ladies and gentle…’ Lorelai flushed when she spotted Joy and Love giving each other a sideways glance. ‘Oh no! I’m so sorry.’ Her heart dropped into her stomach.Not the best start,she thought, and wished the ground would swallow her whole. She was usually more mindful.
Joy batted her hand through the air. ‘I’m still saying stuff like that myself! It takes a while to get used to.’
Lorelai was touched by Joy’s kindness, yet still couldn’t help but feel ignorant. ‘I’ll do better next time,’ she promised.
‘That’s all we ask, sweetie,’ Joy said.
Mrs Shaw, Sarah, was already halfway through her second glass of rosé. She frowned and raised her hand. ‘I don’t understand what’s going on?’
‘Ladies and gentlemen implies that those are the only two options,’ Love explained gently. ‘Although our personal pronouns are he/him and she/her, there are those who don’t identify as either and so prefer they/them. So terms like ladies and gentlemen reinforce the idea that gender is binary, which it isn’t.’ It was a perfect, well-rehearsed response. Lorelai wondered how many times Love had had to say those words, not only to those who didn’t understand, but also to those whorefusedto.
