‘He’s already on stage!’ She tried to keepher panic subdued, but it was starting to take over.
‘— or Walter dies.’
‘RANDALL, PLEASE DON’T DO THIS!’ she screamed but Randall opened the door, her efforts to close it wasted, and he was gone.
She whipped off her dressing gown, slipped on her shoes and ran as quickly as she could down the stairs towards the stage. She had six more scenes before the finale but only onemoment in which she and Lawrence would be offstage at the same time. That was her only chance to convince him not to fire the gun. To get him to pretend it had malfunctioned mid-scene and just wouldn’t fire. She hoped Walter would forgive her and she hoped no one would figure out it was him who had sabotaged the gun but if Randall stuck by his word, no one would ever know.
During her nextscenes, the ins and outs of the deal she had just struck with Randall were whirling round her head, but she kept having to bat them away. The only thing that mattered was saving Walter. Everything else could be dealt with after the show had ended but even so, the idea of spending any portion of her life in the same vicinity as Hamish, let alone as his significant other, made it hard to concentrateon stage. The moment was drawing closer to when Lawrence would exit the stage while she was dancing in the bar scene. He would be bundled off stage by two ensemble members and then her character would exit to chase after his. She only had seconds with him in the wing before he would need to enter upstage for the final scene in which the gun would be fired. She heard the familiar muffled yelp ashe was taken off-stage and she was supposed to wait to notice him gone. She was supposed to ‘act’ but tonight she gave a feeble attempt at ‘noticing’ he wasn’t there, and ran offstage, stage right, before the music had even finished. She ran down the wing through the double doors and round to stage left where Lawrence already had his foot poised, ready to make his entrance.
‘Lawrence, don’tfire the gun,’ she whispered, but the music was still playing.
‘What?’ he said, smiling at her.
‘Don’t fire the gun!’ She pulled at his lapels, trying to get closer to his ear. He heard her this time and looked at her face, now serious, taking in what she had said, and a little flutter of hope soared through her… but then he rolled his eyes.
‘Funny!’ he laughed and walkedthrough the curtain.
‘No, Lawrence… LAWRENCE!’ she hissed but it was too late. Lawrence was now Lars and Lars had a gun he needed to fire at Hamish who would do his best attempt at acting as the character of Melvin. Fawn heard the scene begin. She heard Lawrence speak and she was only moments away from entering the stage to watch Hamish and Walter be slaughtered seconds after one another.She ran down the wing to the downstage entrance and took a deep breath. She heard something move and turned her head to see Walter standing where she had just been. Fawn heard her cue and did her best to smile at Walter, knowing that whatever was about to happen would change their lives forever and she entered through the black curtain.
‘You were never supposed to find out this way,’ shesaid, her voice sultry and low, no longer her own.
‘You didn’t do well to hide it.’ Hamish’s acting was stiff and wooden; he was a better villain offstage than he was on.
‘Leave her be, goddamn it.’ Fawn looked at Lawrence, pleading with him with her eyes but she knew that anything she did now onstage, he would take as her acting as Eliza and not as herself. There was nothing moreshe could do.
‘Please. Go back inside. Go home. Go anywhere but here.’ Fawn looked behind her and her eyes settled on Walter in the wings.
Watching Fawn onstage, Walter found it difficult to breathe evenly. His clammy hands held onto a set piece, to try and steady his buckling knees as beads of sweat poured down his back. There was a dullness in Fawn’s eyes that he couldn’t explain.He’d watched her do this scene a million times before and usually she would glide effortlessly across the stage, but this time he noticed she stood awkwardly, and when she moved it was almost like she were walking ankle deep through a marsh.She must be nervous, he thought, as was he. He’d only ever seen death in the movies and here he was about to witness one he had orchestrated. He kept remindinghimself that it was for the greater good. For Fawn’s good.
‘Yes, Larson. Do as she says.’
‘Please, Lars. Not here,’ she begged and never had the words been so real to her before now.
‘She’s not yours,’ Larson hissed.
‘Actually, Lars… I am.’ Fawn held up her right hand to reveal the engagement ring and she worried how soon it would be before she was wearing a real onegiven to her by Hamish.
‘Eliza… no. NO!’ Lawrence pulled the gun from his inside jacket pocket and the audience gasped. Fawn looked at the gun in his hand. She realised that she’d never properly given it any attention before. It wasn’t her prop and so she’d never had any reason to interact with it outside of this scene and yet here it was, right in front of her, about to seal her fate.
‘Oh, Larson. When will you learn? It doesn’t matter how well you scrub up or…’ Hamish’s voice became muffled in Fawn’s ears as her heart started beating faster and faster. She thought of pushing Lawrence’s arm away as he fired the shot but she knew that would give the game away, and what would Hamish do to her if he knew she’d tried to kill him? Then she thought of the life she would leadif she did stop Lawrence from pulling that trigger. A life of ‘yes, Hamish. Of course, Hamish’. A life of sitting still and being quiet, of being seen and not heard. A life next to a man who thought of women as objects or trophies. A man who took things from people against their will. A man who forced himself on those too weak to stop him. Hamish was a monster. And life with a monster would be nolife at all.
‘Please don’t listen to him, Lars. Just go back inside.’ She put her hands on Lawrence’s arm.
‘Do you love him?’ he asked. ‘Do you?’ he demanded again.
‘I fear you’ll kill him either way.’
‘Eliza, if you tell me yes, how could you think that I would kill the man you love and put you through that misery? No, Eliza. Should you say yes, I will turn this gunon myself and the bullet will be destined for me.’
The audience was well and truly captivated by a scene that was more real than they’d ever know and would ever watch again. They sobbed and blew their noses into their handkerchiefs, unaware of the turmoil happening in Fawn’s mind.
‘Must we have all this drama? It’s terribly dull. We all know you don’t have the gall to shoot a rabbit,let alone a man. Just put the gun down, Larson.’
‘Do… you… love… him?’
‘I…’ She hesitated. Walter could feel the sadness pouring off her in waves that lapped at his feet. He wondered if maybe she’d forgotten her line. Was she having second thoughts about their plan? Had she suddenly decided Hamishwasthe man for her and didn’t want to see him die?
‘I…’ A tear rolled downher flushed cheek.
