20
The Curtain Call
The most physical harm Walter had ever inflicted on anyone had been in the pub the night before and so his history of inciting pain and trouble had only just begun – and what a beginning it would be. Even though he would have been able to jam anythingdown the barrel of the prop gun, it felt significant that it would be the pearl from the necklace that Hamish had broken whilst trying to strangle Fawn. It felt right that Hamish’s own violent acts would ultimately bring his own life to an end.
At every moment he kept reaching into his pocket to make sure that the pearl was still there and he kept reaching into his heart to make sure hehad the courage to carry out such a terrible act. It may have been Walter’s idea, but having an idea and making that idea a reality are two very different things and he hadn’t thought as far as how he would feel when the time came. Not only was Walter going to be the cause of someone’s death but he was going to force someone into unwittingly pulling the trigger. Although the guilt weighed heavy onhis heart, he knew that had he been the one holding the gun, his makeshift bullet would never leave the barrel.
Violence had never played a part in Fawn’s life. Whilst her father was distant, cold and ruled his household like a kingdom in which the women were his subjects, he’d never raised a hand to his wife or daughter. So the idea of causing harm, let alone death, to anyone was unspeakableto Fawn. That was until she was exposed to men like Hamish and her mind had been quickly changed. It was funny how a single event in one’s life could change you as a person; now Fawn believed that if you were spending your life causing pain, leaving a path of destruction in your wake, then maybe, just maybe, you didn’t deserve to live that life at all.
Their plan was perfect. Once all theprops had been moved to their rightful places in the interval, they were left unattended in the stage left wing, until Lawrence picked up the gun ready for the beginning of act two. The gun was loaded with a hollow wax bullet that disintegrated when fired. It made a bang and flash which convinced the audience that a real bullet had been fired. But it still was a real gun. If something small wereto get lodged down the barrel, then when the trigger was pulled and the charge of gunpowder for the hollow wax bullet was ignited, that something small would be propelled from the gun and act exactly like a real bullet. Walter had no doubt that Hamish’s death would be put down to an accident; it wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility that a stray pearl could roll into the barrel without anyonenoticing. Walter also had no doubt that the man’s death wouldn’t cause too much grief, if any at all. The show would come to an untimely end, leaving Walter and Fawn to escape to the life they’d been dreaming of.
The curtain was due to rise, and the hum of the audience was steadily dying down in anticipation. Walter ran down the stage left wing to try and catch a glimpse of Fawn’s face,to give her the sense of hope that things were going to be all right, but her gaze was fixed in front of her, her expression stoic and almost mournful.
Fawn had been able to think of nothing except Hamish’s face hovering above her. She’d not been able to get the sound of his moaning out of her ears nor the feeling of his fingers from around her weakened throat. Hamish had impounded hersenses and she felt the little of herself she’d managed to cling on to slipping neatly through her fingers like smoke. She looked at Walter in the wings, trying to instill in her whatever hope there was for their future beyond this fateful performance, but she didn’tseehim. He may as well have been a ghost.
Walter spent the entirety of act one going over his every move. The trigger wouldbe pulled, the hammer would hit the primer, the primer would ignite the gunpowder, the gunpowder would propel but melt the hollow wax bullet but this time, take the pearl along with it. A pearl propelled at seventeen hundred miles per hour would most certainly be lethal. What if the pearl slipped out of the barrel of the gun in Lawrence’s pocket? he thought. Walter figured he’d wedge it down thebarrel with a bit of cotton wool and reckoned that would still do the trick. What if it didn’t work and he and his scheme were discovered? Walter thought it was better to try than surrender to the hell Hamish was putting Fawn through. His brain flip-flopped a thousand times like a coin being tossed in the air, but no matter how many times he flipped it, the decision had already been made. Hamishhad to die.
In her dressing room, Fawn reached for her silk gown to cover her shivering shoulders. She flung open the windows and although she didn’t like to, she rummaged in her bag for a packet of cigarettes her mother had given her for when she was in times of need. Her hands were shaking so vigorously, it took her several attempts to light one and she inhaled deeply. Fawn wasn’t neededfor the first three scenes of act two, and she was glad that she could stay in the silence of her dressing room until Danny came to collect her. Until those hopes were dashed in three simple knocks at the door.
‘Come in,’ she called, not caring that she wasn’t supposed to be smoking in her costume. She expected Danny or even Walter, but she certainly wasn’t expecting Hamish’s henchman,Randall. ‘What on earth could you possibly want from me, Randall?’ she said, taking a long drag on her cigarette. ‘I don’t think I’ve got anything left for you to take.’
Randall closed the door behind him and made a point of turning the lock on the door slowly. Fawn turned away from him and looked out the window, trying to pretend he wasn’t there. People passed by in the street below her,never looking up, never noticing her and she felt like Rapunzel trapped in her tower. Never before had she had any reason to consider taking her own life. Not once had the thought ever flitted across her mind, even for a brief second. She had a loving mother, a warm bed to sleep in every night and more money than most people would make in several lifetimes. She had everything and yet just one nighthad made the pull of the cobbled pavement outside her window more enticing than all the luxury and money in the world.
‘It’s interesting what you see when you’re stood on the fly floor, Fawn,’ Randall said as he leant against the door and took a cigar out of his inside pocket, snipping off the end with a cutter and letting it drop to the floor. He took a small box of matches out of histrouser pocket and lit the cigar, the smell instantly making Fawn feel queasy. ‘That’s where you’ve been spending a lot of your time recently, so I thought I’d take a look for myself and boy, is it interesting what you can see from up there.’ Fawn felt the familiar feeling of dread placing its hands on her shoulders and squeezing until she was filled with it.
‘How long have you known?’she said, without turning around to see his face which she knew would be plastered with smugness.
‘Oh, since the beginning. Since you were chasing each other around the auditorium like children. Neither of you thought to look up to the dress circle.’ He chuckled, and Fawn sighed.
‘What do you want, Randall? Like I said, I have very little left to give you and yourmaster.’ She leantout the window and stubbed out the cigarette on the ledge.
‘Well, it’s just… that boyfriend of yours seemed to have a very keen interest in that gun in the stage left wing.’ Fawn not only felt the dread running through her veins now, but the fear and defeat coursed through her in waves as well.
‘What do you mean?’ she said over her shoulder, but she already knew her denial was pointless.Randall had seen Walter slip the pearl into the gun and he knew full well that their makeshift bullet was intended for Hamish.
‘Fawn. Let’s not play games. The second act has begun and so we’re on the clock here.’ He puffed on his cigar, letting the putrid smoke fill the room. ‘Don’t let Lawrence fire the gun. It’s as simple as that.’
‘He’s on stage. It’s already in his pocket. There’sno moment I can get to him.’ Fawn shrugged. She folded her arms over her chest and hugged herself tightly, feeling like she was holding the broken pieces of herself together for long enough to get through this encounter.
‘Finda moment.’ Randall’s face never changed and Fawn wondered if he felt anything at all. Any fear, compassion, humanity, or whether life was just money and businessto him.
‘Why can’t you do it yourself? I owe Hamish nothing,’ she said, trying to ignore her trembling knees.
‘Don’t you? He’s the reason you’re here, isn’t he?’
‘Myfatheris the reason I’m here.’ She spun around to face him.
‘Hamish didn’t have to take your father’s money.’ He laughed breathily through his nose.
‘Hamish has taken far more than just my father’smoney!’ she spat. ‘He’s takeneverything! My dignity! Mysanity! Nothing can take back what happened last night, Randall.’
‘You slept with the man who has begun the career you always wanted?’ He rolled his eyes, which stung Fawn’s already aching soul.
‘I wasforcedto sleep with a man whom I do not love and will never love.’ She spoke slowly, trying to keep the wobble out of hervoice.
‘Your immaturity is astounding, Fawn. Sex doesn’t always have to be about love,’ Randall laughed.
Fawn was fed up with biting her tongue and with wondering whether she should say what she was thinking just in case it would cause a tremor in the foundations of the fragile egos of men. In a brief moment of strength, Fawn’s bitten tongue slipped from between her teeth.
