‘You can tell me anything, Fawn. Anything at all,’ he said. ‘And I swear it’ll never ever go any further than right here.’ He patted his chest where his heart was thumping. She looked at him, her eyes full and her cheeks red from the climb up the ladder. His flat cap was pulled down too far so that she couldn’tquite see his eyes, but his mousey blonde hair poked out from underneath it and she desperately wanted to feel it between her fingers. Just the thought of Walter wrapping his arms around her made her chest hurt.
‘I just want to tell you that I want you around. Always,’ she said, quietly. Walter took another step closer, his skin tingling.
‘That you’re the only man to have ever treatedme with the respect I know I deserve. That I’ve not stopped thinking about you.’
Walter took one last step until he’d completely closed the distance between them, but he didn’t dare touch her. He kept his clammy hands by his sides but all the hairs on his body were standing on end.
‘I don’t want to ruin the moment,’ he said to his own feet, the brim of his hat almost touching theend of her nose, ‘but… I barely know you.’ He laughed.
‘You work in a theatre,’ Fawn said, reaching up and carefully removing his hat from his head. He quickly ran his wet hands through his hair, sweeping it all back and hoping it wasn’t unruly and defying the laws of gravity. ‘Surely you must have seen enough backstage romances to know that people fall in love at the drop of a hat,’ sheadded, helping to sort out the front of his hair. As her skin brushed his cheek she felt a warmth in the pit of her stomach and she couldn’t help but smile.
‘To be honest, Miss Burrows, I’ve only been working here about… a week,’ he said, not looking at her.
‘Oh.’ She laughed. ‘Well, how about the movies, then. Have you seen any of those?’ She teased, poking his chest but then leavingher hand on his shirt. His eyes flicked up to hers and he pleaded with her in his mind to give him any sign that she wanted to kiss him.
‘I love the movies,’ he smiled, realising he’d left it a little too long before answering her.
‘Then you’ll know how quickly people can fall. Love at first sight.’ She breathed and the mint from her mouth and the jasmine in her perfume tangled inthe air and sent his senses reeling. Images of Hollywood starlets and leading men flickered in his mind. William Holden and Nancy Olson, Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman, Ginger Rogers and Joseph Cotten, even Cinderella and Prince Charming… he had seen love at first sight a thousand times. Who was to say it didn’t exist? Who was to say it couldn’t happen? Couldn’t happen to him?
‘It’sall fiction though, isn’t it?’ he shrugged.What are the chances this radiant star of the West End stage would be interested in the ‘boy’ that works on stage door?he thought.
‘Fiction has to come from somewhere, doesn’t it?’ she said, and he noticed her tone had changed. Her smile had gone, and she was fiddling with the button on his flannel shirt pocket with a seriousness he couldn’texplain.
‘Are you saying… you’re in love with me?’ he asked, breathing deeply, feeling her hand rise.
‘No…’ She smiled and although she’d said no, she let her answer hang in the air for a little while.
‘You’re not in love with me,’ he said, wondering why he felt a pang of disappointment in his gut.
‘No,’ she said again, looking down at the fingers of her other handwhich she moved to gently brush with his.
‘How “not in love with me” are you?’ Walter stretched out his own fingers and slowly intertwined them with Fawn’s and a fire raced up from his hands, through his arms and around his neck. His cheeks burned. Fawn tried to lean in but one of her heels had become wedged in the grated floor again, although she tried to keep her cool and not let herinelegance show. She looked up at Walter, who shuffled a little closer so that their faces were so close that even a whisper was too loud. He placed his other hand over hers on his chest and pressed it closer so that maybe she could feel how she was making him feel.
‘Only a little not in love,’ she whispered.
‘Well,’ he said, his lips already touching hers, ‘that’s enough for me.’
Fawn returned to her dressing room that night where her dresser berated her for her lateness and unbuttoned her dress with such a force that Fawn wobbled in her heels and had to steady herself on her dressingtable.
‘Where have you been, sweetie?’ Hamish poked his head inside her dressing room with his attempt at a sickly-sweet smile. He came into her room without knocking or permission and motioned for her dresser to leave, before closing the door behind him. Fawn wrapped her dressing gown around her as tight as she could, wishing she had got changed a little quicker or that her dresser hadstayed a little longer.
‘Nowhere of any importance.’ She shrugged, fixing her make-up in the mirror.
‘Well, wherever it was it is keeping you from somewhere important. You’re the star of the show, after all. People will want to meet you tonight at the party.’
‘I’m actually a little tired. I thought I would go home and —’
‘Go home? And leave me without a date?’ Hamishtried to laugh but it sounded forced and panicked. Fawn’s insides squirmed at the idea of going anywhere with Hamish in a romantic setting.
‘It’s been a long day,’ she said, trying to remain calm and kind. ‘Not to mention the matinee we have tomorrow.’
‘I’m trying to give you a career, Fawn. You need to mingle, socialise. The producer of your next show might be at this party.’
‘I just think the show would benefit from me having a good night’s —’
‘You arecomingto the party!’ Hamish snapped and instinctively Fawn flinched and covered her already bruised cheek with her hand. ‘Oh, Fawn, hush now,’ he said, racing to her side and caressing her face as much as she let him. ‘No need to be like that. No need to be frightened. What happened earlier was merely ahiccup. A little blemish on an otherwise perfect day,’ he said, ignoring the tears in her eyes. ‘No need to let it ruin the evening,’ he said, stroking her hair.
Fawn started to pull away but his grip tightened at her slight show of disobedience and so she stayed very still. ‘What’s going to happen now, is you’re going to get into a nice dress. You’ve got one of those with you, haven’tyou?’ He patted her hand and she nodded whilst biting her tongue. ‘Good. You’re going to get into a nice dress, put on your heels and come to the party. I will meet you there and introduce you to anybody who’s anybody and you’re going to smile, be polite and begrateful.’ He gave her cheek a stroke and as he stood he leant in just that little bit too close to her face and her breath caught inher throat.
