‘Babe, let’s go,’ he said, taking her hand.
‘What’s going on?’
‘Let’s just go and we’ll talk in a minute.’
‘No, Doug, tell me what’s going on.’ She snatched her hand out of Doug’s gripand it was then that she caught a glimpse of some of the cast through the window. They all seemed to have made a little circle and were looking at a central pair who were uncomfortably entangled.
‘Is that Tamara?’ Olive would have recognised her perfectly sculpted talons anywhere, even when tugging at the hair of the unfortunate man she happened to have her lips locked onto, like a leechsucking out his life and soul.
‘Yeah, it is,’ said Doug, taking her hand again.
‘Who’s she kissing?’ Olive felt her heart fall down a deep, dark pit of despair when she looked at Doug’s sad eyes. She looked back though the window and the light glanced off Oscar’s face as he drunkenly tried to wrap his arms around Tamara’s tall and bony frame, as though he didn’t know how to holdsomeone who didn’t fit so well in his embrace. His lips tried to find hers, but her tongue was too busy trying to reach his tonsils. It looked sloppy and awkward, but they didn’t stop.Why won’t they stop?Olive thought, but she didn’t cry. She felt numb, like her whole body had gone into shock, and even the icy rain that was hitting the back of her exposed neck didn’t seem to chill her.
‘Olive, stop watching,’ Doug said, squeezing her fingers.
‘I can’t,’ Olive replied, but her voice barely came out as more than a whisper.
Finally, Tamara and Oscar broke apart and even though she could see Oscar’s slow drunken blink, how he fumbled for his beer as Tamara disappeared to the toilets, she couldn’t find anything to excuse his actions, as much as she wantedsomethingtoexplain away the pain she knew she’d have to endure when the numbness had worn off. Oscar brushed back his hair, looking slightly dazed, and almost stumbled backwards into Sammy, who gave him a shove forwards. Olive watched Sammy mouth a few choice words at Oscar, and it was only when she pointed at the window directly at her that Olive realised Sammy knew she was there, watching the night’s sordidevents unfold. Oscar’s eyes widened when they locked with Olive’s and his hands went to the sides of his head, like he was trying to stop his brain from spinning.
‘I need to go.’
‘Olive…’ Doug let go of her hand as she pulled away and stepped backwards into the road.
She turned just as a car pulled into the street, its tyres racing through a puddle and throwing a fan of waterup into the air, soaking Olive from the waist down.
‘Text me when you’re home safe!’ Doug called after her as she crossed the road, ran down the side of the theatre and turned right to walk along front of house.
‘OLIVE!’ She heard Oscar’s voice call out behind her and instinctively she slowed down, but she didn’t turn around. ‘Olive, please stop!’
‘We’ll talk when you’re sober,’she called back to him over her shoulder.
‘Please don’t leave it like this.’
‘Me?!’ She whipped around, and Oscar almost bumped into her. ‘I’m not leaving it like anything, Oscar. You’re the one who’s decided to end this.’
‘I thought it was already over!’
‘We had an argument!’
‘In which you ended it! You told me to go off with Tamara!’
‘Which I see youtookextremelyliterally.’ The bulbs around the theatre’s sign glared obnoxiously brightly and Olive was so glad there were no staff left inside to watch this spat between them.
‘I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t seem like anything right now, but my God, I’m sorry. I’m drunk and stupid and a total loser. You don’t need me in your life.’
‘Don’t you dare self-deprecate and think that’sgoing to get you an out of jail free card, Oscar. I don’t care how insecure you are. I don’t care if you think so little of yourself you need to get with every and any airhead who throws herself at you in an attempt to boost your self-worth. Nothing excuses the fact that you’ve spent the last month trying to hide me away and doing damage control when the world caught the slightest glimpse of me…and then kissed someone else in the middle of a bar where the whole of Soho could watch.’
‘I know —’
‘I AM NOT FINISHED.’ Olive’s anger came to the boil. ‘Not only have you kissed someone else so publicly, but you’ve kissed someone elsein the cast! Do you realise how humiliated I am going to feel walking back into work on Monday morning, on opening night no less? And on top of allthat, Oscar,’Oh no, don’t cry, she thought, ‘you’ve confirmed my worst insecurity.’Shit, she thought as a sob rose in her throat and the tears gathered in her eyes again. She quickly covered her face with both her hands, wishing she wasn’t there and that he wasn’t watching her.
‘What do you mean?’ Oscar’s T-shirt was soaked through from the rain, but the alcohol running through his bodykept him from feeling the cold.
Olive took a deep, icy breath. ‘I always wondered why you spent time with me instead of someone as beautiful as Tamara, but I had every confidence in myself, in my own personality. I knew that even though I don’t look typically like any of your ex-girlfriends, you were spending time with me because I’m fun. Because I’m clever. Because I can talk to you aboutmore than the latestLove Islandcontestants and which celebrities have most recently broken up or got married or had a baby.’
‘I know, Olive. And you do make me laugh and —’ Olive held up her hand.
‘But none of that matters now. Because you’ve confirmed exactly what that voice in the back of my head has been saying that, up until now, I’ve been able to quieten. Now, you’ve provedthat it doesn’t matter how fun I am, how much we can talk or how much I make you laugh, because I don’t look like Tamara.’
