I do not want to be awake right now. I kind of never want to wake up again. Even though I’m pissed at Aksel,I still hate that he wasn’t next to me when I opened my eyes. The fact that I want to wake up next to him despite what he did pisses me off even more.
My heart hurts as the memories from yesterday come rushing back, sharp and unforgiving. The cameras. The crowd. That moment when the world narrowed down to one impossible face.
I feel so stupid. So painfully gullible.
Aksel lied to me. About so much. How am I supposed to trust him again after this? How are we supposed to come back from something this big? He hid my mom from me. Coordinated it. Let the show reveal it on camera under bright lights and hungry lenses instead of giving me the decency of a private conversation.
It was such a dick move.
And my mom.
My mom, whom I haven’t seen in so long she’s become more memory than person, was there. Standing right in front of me like she hadn’t spent years choosing everything else over me. She didn’t rush forward or reach for me the way mothers are supposed to. She just stares, eyes wide and shining, like she was afraid I’d disappear if she blinked.
She glanced over her shoulder at Aksel’s parents, silently asking permission to exist in this moment.They gave her gentle nods and supportive smiles, and when she turned backtome,Iwatchedherphysicallybraceherself.Her shoulders squared, spine straightening, and chin lifting as if facing a judge.
“I’m so proud of everything you’ve done for yourself,” she said. “I always knew you’d be great.”
That look she gave me, hopeful and aching, was everything I had wanted for most of my life. If this had been eight years ago, I would’ve shattered on the spot. I would’ve cried and wrapped myself around her and forgiven everything just to feel chosen.
But she’s too late.
I already learned to survive without her. Learned to take care of myself while she got high and let my dad beat the light out of her eyes. I grew up faster than any kid should have because no one was there for me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, the words coming out sharper than I intended, confusion and betrayal twisting together in my chest. My gaze flicked to Aksel. His eyes were hopeful and apologetic all at once, like he was begging me to forgive him before I even understood what he’d done. “Did you know she was coming?”
Henoddedslowly,shamedragginghisgazetothe floor.
Before he could explain, my mom rushed in. “Don’t be mad at him. I asked him not to tell you. I wanted to see you for myself.”
Of course she did.
Of course she protected him.
Whatkindoffucked-upTwilightZoneepisodeis this?
“Doyourealizehowselfishthisis?”Isnapped,the pressure in my chest finally cracking. “The finale is this week. I should be focusing on that. Not this… Frankensteined family reunion.” My hands curled into fists, anger surging to cover up years of hurt feelings. “What were you thinking?”
“I -I just wanted to see you,” she stuttered, shrinking in on herself like she expected a blow. “I missed you. So much.”
Fantastic. Now I’m the asshole. Yelling at an abused woman who finally got clean and decided she deserved closure on her own timeline.
“This was selfish, Mama,” I said, my voice shaking with pent-up emotion. Internally, I cringe at how easily I revert to the scared kid I used to be. Seeing her brings me backtoalifethatdoesn’tfeellikemineanymore.
Apparently, needing my mom is not something I can grow out of, and that only fuels my anger further. “This was really fucking selfish. You couldn’t have waited one week? Just one?” My throat burned, bile rising. “Do you have any idea how badly this is messing with my head?”
I pushed past her, my shoulder slamming into Aksel as I went. He stumbled back a step.
“And you,” I said, spinning on him, the hurt boiling over. “You’re my husband. We’re not supposed to keep secrets from each other.” My voice cracked. “How the hell did you think it was okay to keep something this big from me?”
“You’re right, Fylgja,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t. Call. Me. That,” I growled. I turned around and stormed toward the exit.
The convention area was deathly silent. The buzz of excitement evaporated, replaced by the oppressive weight of a hundred witnesses. No one spoke. No one moved. Everyone just watched as my life imploded in real time.
Same as always, I’d have to be the one to pick up my ownpieces.
I heard a heavy thud behind me and the crowd gasped,sharpandcollective,butIdidn’tturnaround.
