“I have to.” His forehead drops to mine. “I need to hear it. Need to know this is real, that you’re not going to wake up tomorrow and hate me for?—”
“I might hate you tomorrow.” The truth. The complicated, terrible truth. “I might hate you for the rest of my life for what you did. But I’ll still want you. Those two things don’t cancel each other out.”
His breath catches. A sound escapes him, half-laugh, half-sob.
“You’re a monster, Elio Marchetti.” I cup his face in my hands. Force him to look at me. “But you’remymonster. And I’m choosing you anyway.”
His whole body shudders. His eyes squeeze shut. When they open again, they’re wet.
“Say that again.”
“I’m choosing—” I kiss the corner of his mouth. “—you.”
He makes a sound I’ve never heard from him before. Something primal and broken and grateful. Then his arms wraparound me, crushing, desperate, like he’s afraid I’ll disappear if he lets go.
“I’m yours.” The words are muffled against my hair. “Whatever you want. However you want me. I’m yours.”
24
ELIO
Idon’t sleep. Can’t sleep. Not with Violet in my arms. Not with her head on my chest, auburn hair spilling across my skin like dried blood in the moonlight. Not with her breath warm and steady against my heartbeat, her body curved into mine like she was made to fit there.
She chose me. I still can’t believe it.
She chose me.
We didn’t do anything but kiss and talk. For hours. Until her lips were swollen and her eyes heavy and she curled into me like a cat seeking warmth. Until she fell asleep mid-sentence, something about cathedrals and broken things, her voice trailing off into soft breathing.
I held her.
Just held her.
My cock has been hard since sometime around one in the morning, pressing painfully against my trousers, but I haven’t moved. Haven’t shifted. Haven’t done anything that might wake her, might break whatever spell that made her walk through my door and claim me as hers.
My monster.
The words echo in the dark places inside me. Places I thought were dead. Places I killed a long time ago because feeling things got people hurt.
Dawn creeps through the windows now. Gold and rose bleeding across the Mediterranean, painting the ceiling in colors I’ve never bothered to notice before. The room looks different with her in it. Softer. Less like a mausoleum and more like somewhere a person might actually live.
She stirs.
My whole body goes rigid. Heart hammering in my chest like I’m seventeen again, like I haven’t fucked more women than I can count, like I haven’t made an art form out of taking what I want.
But this is different.
Sheis different.
Violet stretches against me, a small sound escaping her throat. Her thigh slides across mine, and I feel the exact moment she registers my erection pressing against her hip.
She doesn’t pull away.
My breath catches.
Her eyes open. Green-gray in the morning light, storm deciding whether to break. She blinks up at me, confusion flickering across her features before memory floods in. I watch her remember. Watch the uncertainty chase itself across her face.
And then she smiles.
