Hmm…If all of their normal measurements are identical…I wonder!
“Do you have the same penis sizes?” I ask for absolutely no good reason whatsoever.
My brain disconnects from my mouth.
My face immediately catches fire.
My eyes widen.
Oh no. No no no.
“I amsosorry,” I rush out, dropping my clipboard to my chest like it might shield me from my own stupidity. “That was wildly inappropriate. Please pretend I did not just ask that.”
Twin Two stares at me, his expression blank but his eyes wide with something very close to disbelief.
Twin One, however, smirks.
“Would you like us to undress so you can measure for yourself,Principessa?” he asks smoothly.
Heat travels from my cheeks straight down to my toes.
“No,” I squeak. “Absolutely not. I do not. That will not be happening.”
The corner of his mouth lifts a fraction higher.
I’m going to die.
Luckily, I’m saved by the literal bell as the front door opens and the chime above it rings like divine intervention.
I spin toward the entrance faster than should be humanly possible.
“Welcome!” I call out, voice an octave too high. “I’ll be right with you!”
I turn back to the twins, lowering my voice.
“We are never speaking of that again.”
Twin Two nods once.
Twin One still looks entertained.
I point at him.
“Not. A. Word.”
He says nothing.
Which somehow feels worse.
And just like that, I straighten my shoulders, paste on my professional smile, and prepare to pretend I did not just offer to measure an Italian assassin’s anatomy.
I swear the aggravating men in my life are going to be the death of me.
***
I wait patiently while Twin Two gets confirmation that I’m allowed to leave my own freaking store.
“This is ridiculous,” I mutter. “What exactly are we waiting for?”
