“Taking you to bed.” I carry her across the cabin to the narrow mattress that’s been hers alone for the past ten days. “You need to rest.”
I lay her down on the sheets and pull the blanket up over her body before climbing in beside her. She curls against my chest without prompting, fitting herself into my body like she was made to be there, and I wrap my arm around her waist to hold her close.
We lie in silence for a while, and I listen to the forest sounds that make their way through the broken window. The cabin is a mess of shattered glass and overturned furniture, with blood still staining the floorboards where the Thornridge wolf died. I know I should clean it up. The window needs to be boarded up, and the snares need to be reset. Most of all, we need to figure out our next move now that my fears have been realized.
Instead, I hold Caelan and pretend the rest of the world doesn’t exist for just a little longer.
“I don’t know what this means,” Caelan whispers against my chest. “What we just did.”
“It doesn’t have to mean anything you don’t want it to mean.”
She peers up at me through those impossibly long lashes. “That’s not how mate bonds work, and we both know it. Thisthing between us isn’t going to go away just because I’m confused about my feelings.”
“No, it’s not. But confusion isn’t the same as rejection. You’re allowed to take time to figure out what you want.”
She blows out a frustrated breath and asks, “What if what I want keeps changing? One minute I’m furious with you for everything you did, and the next I’m kissing you like my life depends on it. I don’t understand myself anymore.”
“The curse suppressed your emotions for nineteen years. It makes sense that everything feels overwhelming now that you can actually experience what you’re feeling.” I catch her hand and press a kiss to her palm. “Give yourself grace, Caelan. You’re learning how to be a whole person for the first time. That’s not something anyone masters overnight.”
“I don’t know if I can forgive you. For the marriage, I mean. Even if I’m starting to understand why you did it.”
“You don’t have to forgive me tonight. You don’t have to forgive me ever, if that’s where you land. I made a choice that affected your entire life without giving you any say in it. Understanding my reasons doesn’t oblige you to absolve me of the consequences.”
“That’s very mature of you.”
I pull her closer and rest my chin on top of her head. “I’ve had a lot of time to think. All those nights on the floor, watching you sleep in this bed. I knew you’d never have chosen me if I’d given you the option. I knew I was taking something from you that I had no right to take. The only thing I could do was try to be worthy of what I stole.”
When she doesn’t respond, I don’t push her. Instead, I hold her and breathe in the scent of her hair and try to commit this moment to memory.
I hate breaking the peace we’ve found, but practicality demands it. “We need to move. That was a Thornridge scout, and he didn’t find us by accident. They’ll send more wolves to search when he doesn’t report back.”
“I know,” she admits with a sigh. “How long do we have?”
“A few hours, maybe. Depends on how long it takes them to realize their scout isn’t coming back.” I run my hand up and down her spine in slow strokes as I add, “We should leave at first light. Head for Grayhide territory like we discussed.”
“So I’ll have to face my family, after all.”
I tip her chin up so I can look into her eyes. “Whatever happens when we get there, you won’t be alone. I meant what I said, Caelan. I will always come when you need me.”
“Even if they try to kill you?”
“I’d prefer to avoid that particular outcome if possible,” I admit with a chuckle.
She laughs, quiet and tired, and the sound loosens something in my chest that’s been wound tight since the moment I first saw her on the stage at that bar. This woman is my mate. Whatever else is uncertain between us, that truth remains constant.
“Get some sleep.” I pull the blanket higher around her shoulders. “I’ll keep watch.”
“You need rest, too.”
“I’ll rest when I know you’re safe. Sleep, Caelan. I’ve got you.”
She presses a kiss to my chest, right over my heart, and then closes her eyes. Her breathing evens out within minutes as exhaustion takes hold despite everything that’s happened.
I stay awake and listen to the sounds of the forest, taking note of every rustle and snap for signs of approaching danger. My body aches from the fight and the sex, and my shoulder throbs where the scout’s teeth tore through muscle, but I ignore the discomfort. Protecting Caelan matters more than my own pain.
Dawn comes slowly, and as it does, gray light seeps through the broken window to illuminate the destruction we left in our wake. I ease out of bed without waking her and start gathering what supplies we can carry. Food, water, and the few weapons I’ve managed to cobble together from what the cabin provided. It’s not much, but it will have to be enough.
Chapter 15 - Caelan
