“Something worth fighting for?” Her eyebrows rise. “You mean me?”
“Yes. You.”
The admission diffuses in the space between us, and neither of us seems to know what to do with it. My wolf urges me forward, demanding that I show her what she means to me. I hold him back through sheer force of will.
“You barely know me,” Caelan reminds me.
“I know enough. I know you’re brave enough to sneak out looking for adventure when your whole life has taught you to play it safe. I know you care about your family so deeply that the thought of hurting them tears you apart inside. I know you gave me a blanket when you had every reason to let me freeze, andI know the way you look at me when you think I’m not paying attention.”
Color rises in her cheeks. “That’s the mate bond. It doesn’t mean anything real.”
“It means everything, and you know it.”
“What I know is that you’re asking me to choose between my family and a man I’ve known for a week. A man who kidnapped me and forced me into a marriage I didn’t want.” She lifts her chin in defiance as she asks, “You want me to vouch for you? Fine. Convince me you’re worth the cost.”
“I saved your life.”
“You endangered it first by dragging me into this mess.”
“I told you the truth about who I am and where I come from.”
“After you’d already trapped me in a situation where the truth couldn’t change anything.”
“I’ve protected you every single day since we got here.”
“From a threat that only exists because of your pack.”
Every argument I make, she counters. Every justification I offer, she dismantles. It would be impressive if it weren’t so infuriating. Frustration builds in my chest until I can feel it expanding against my ribs and demanding release.
“What do you want from me, Caelan?” I shout, and she flinches. “What would it take for you to believe that I’m not the enemy anymore?”
“I don’t know! I don’t know what I want, or what I believe, or how I’m supposed to feel about any of this. You’ve turned my entire life upside down, and now you’re asking me to destroy my sister’s work and humiliate my family and put myself inthe middle of a political nightmare, all because you decided you wanted to stop being a monster. Why should I pay the price for your redemption?”
“Because the alternative is dying in this cabin when Thornridge finally tracks us down.”
“Maybe that’s a price I’m willing to pay.”
“Don’t say that.” I realize I’ve moved closer to her without meaning to. We’re standing less than two feet apart now, close enough that I can see the pulse jumping in her throat. “Don’t you dare say that.”
“Why not? It’s my life and my choice to make.”
I close another few inches of distance, and she doesn’t back away this time. “You’re my mate, Caelan. Whether you accept it or not, and whether you hate me for it or not, that bond exists between us. I will not let you throw your life away just to spite me or prove a point.”
“This isn’t about spite.”
“Then what is it about?”
“It’s about the fact that I don’t know who I am anymore! I spent nineteen years as a curse-bound Llewelyn woman who didn’t feel anything real. Then Sera broke the curse, and suddenly I could feel everything, and I didn’t know how to handle any of it. I went looking for adventure because I wanted to experience life for the first time without that numbness holding me back. I found you instead, and now I’m trapped in a situation that keeps getting more complicated with every passing day, and everyone wants something from me, and I don’t even know what I want for myself.”
The anger drains out of me, and in its place comes something far more dangerous. She’s not fighting me becauseshe hates me. She’s fighting because she’s terrified. Scared of the bond, scared of what accepting it means, and scared of losing herself in something she never asked for.
I understand that fear better than she knows.
“Caelan,” I say her name softly, and she looks up at me with those pale eyes that have haunted my dreams since the first night we met. We’re standing too close now, breathing the same air, and the mate bond screams at me to close the remaining distance between us. My wolf howls at the back of my mind, demanding that I take what’s mine, that I pin her against the wall and kiss her until she stops fighting what’s between us. Every instinct I possess urges me to claim her right here and right now.
I want to. Every cell in my body is begging me to give in and let the bond have what it demands.
But I won’t. Not like this, and not when she’s scared and overwhelmed and hasn’t given me permission.
