I rub my temples for a moment, my body shaking. "I… really didn’t know! I believed I’d never see you again, Eliano…" My voice trails off, drowned in the chaos of my emotions. I feel like a silly child who couldn’t put two and two together.
Eliano lifts his hand, as if to brush my cheek, but then slowly pulls it back, like my tangled energy doesn’t create the right space for affectionate gestures.
"Okay, Salt. I’m sorry. I guess we really need… more time for what started between us to grow into what it’s meant to be."
And now it hits me. He’s right. Yeah, he’s back, but it doesn’t meaneverything is.
It just escapes me. "Are you still, in some way, angry with me?"
His lips curl slightly. "I am not, Salt. What I felt was a broken heart, the pain of rejection. But every night I still dreamed about you. About holding you in my arms again. You are my chosen one and I’m dedicated to making us work. I’m happy to be back. But the question is very valid, though I would like to ask it of you. Are you, in some way, angry with me?"
Silence falls, because maybe that’s the truth.
Maybe I am, and maybe he should be too? Part of me is still crushed that he didn’t go back. Some other part of me is still devastated that I won’t be able to take revenge for what happened with Senu. So many things are not fully cleared up.
But I make a fully conscious decision not to open all the wounds again and not to hurt, not to stab each other endlessly. It’s time to work on closing them and healing.
"I am not, Eliano. I’m happy you’re back. I want us to work too. Let’s take the days we have, one at a time, without expecting miracles. Just… keep living." My gaze drops to his hand. Damn, I wish he had touched me before, because I really want his embrace, to be wrapped in his warmth, and that soft purring.
"And maybe we can try to build space for… more affectionate gestures?" I make an awkward smile.
Eliano responds with a soft huff.
"Holding hands is a good start?"
"Yes, definitely! A small step."
So he takes my hand and sends me a small, reassuring smile as we walk at an unhurried pace, heading back to our unit.
It feels a little strange, starting this life with him again here, a life that before he left had meant something completelydifferent to me. Back then it felt short-term, fleeting, stripped of any real future.
Now I vividly realize that I have to start changing something in how I approach this situation. I have to build… us.
Work on us. For us.
Something may have broken between us, but now it’s time to heal it.
???
After a calm walk back to our unit, during which we are both lost in thought, it feels like we are stepping into uncharted territory.
That sense of responsibility hangs in the air, and I start to realize that the life ahead of me will be far more adult than anything I have known so far. The era ofSalt the rebel, the eternal teenager, is slowly ending. I am going to be a parent, a husband, a grown man. That’s the word of the day.
I feel a faint shiver run along my spine at the weight of that change.
Eliano looks around for a moment and then shoots me a glance I am not quite sure how to read.
"Sorry, I want to check something online. Maybe later we can go to the beach and swim? It looks like it’s going to be a nice day."
"Sure."
He sits down on the couch and pulls out his laptop.
But I just stand in the middle of the room, trying to find my footing in this new reality. I’m living with him again, but it’s different now, like some alternate version of my life, full of question marks.
A committed relationship? I never had one before. How am I supposed to wrap my head around this?
A strange thought suddenly seizes me.
