Bashir raises his eyebrows. "I was gonna ask you about that. I’ve seen a few times that you’re pretty good with metal… rods. The way you swing them. Did you train?"
"Yeah. Since I was six. Third dan."
Bashir nods, clearly impressed. Others also stare at Eliano; I can see real awe on their faces.
Look all you want, but don’t touch. That’smyalpha.
Yes, mine, mine!
Oh, how silly I am…
"You’ve probably heard about all the changes on the island, the new rules Gomez introduced? You can now use extra stimulation through artificial hormone therapy," Roman says, and the sudden change of topic leaves me almost annoyed.
"Well, Gomez wants to prove at all costs that everything happening here is legal, and on top of that, that they offer more than other facilities. Two options to choose from. He’s probably hoping it’ll improve their damaged reputation."
The conversation shifts for a while to the new director’s policies, but I can’t stop thinking about whatever Eliano was dealing with on the mainland.
After breakfast, as we walk back home together, Eliano reaches for my hand. It’s better than the first time he did it, less weird, but I’m still not used to it. This new closeness that comes with being in a real relationship is just unfamiliar…. I feel awkward, almost silly, walking hand in hand.
I catch the look on Eliano’s face as he glances at me, studying my reaction.
"Do you not want me to hold your hand for now? Would you rather we take things a little slower when it comes to… affectionate gestures?"
"Nah," I say, putting on a brave face. "It’s just… I’ve never walked holding hands with anyone before. But I’ll try to get used to it, because this is normal, right? We’re fated, after all."
Eliano chuckles softly. "We don’t have to hurry with this. We have time, Salt."
"It’s okay." I roll my eyes. "No biggie!"
We stroll like this at a lazy pace, and my mind drifts back to the one thing that keeps bothering me. But how do I bring it up smoothly? I decide to bundle a few things into one question and finally ask him.
"Eliano, I know you left the island because of me. I kicked you out. But I want to know—"
Eliano gives me a strange look, as he cuts in, "Salt, you wouldn’t have kicked me out so easily if I hadn’t had something important to handle on the mainland."
I get the sense he’s saying this just so I feel less guilty. I stop and tug on his hand until he is standing in front of me.
"I know why you’re doing this. You don’t want me to feel bad, but even if I didn’t understand it at the time, it was still the Mate Rejection. No matter how we sugarcoat it, I felt that pain in our Bond. I believe you felt it too, even if you’re pretending it wasn’t a big deal."
There’s a moment of silence as Eliano looks at me with a hint of sadness.
"Well, I’d be lying if I said that having‘I hate you’,‘get out’, and‘you’re just a means to an end’thrown in my face multiple times didn’t affect me. Because it did," he says dryly. "So, yeah, it was the Mate Rejection thing. I had to deal with it. But if I hadn’t had a reason to leave the island, I would have simply walked out and approached Gomez, asking for lodging in the staff section."
Feeling my own assholeness slapped in my face, I swallow hard. Eliano notices my expression and shrugs.
"I would have stayed there for a few days. I knew you needed time to come to terms with everything that happened. I understood that, Salt. You felt hurt and deceived, stripped of the chance for something that meant so much to you. And by whom? By someone who should have been on your side."
I look away. It’s bittersweet that he understands all of this so well, still…
"I wanted to give you space so you could think things through in peace. But I also genuinely needed to handle something in the city, so the two things aligned."
He says it so calmly, almost neutrally, and that somehow irritates me. I was sobbing on the bed, writhing in anger, pain, and frustration, while he simply decided to take care of his ‘business’. Was it at least the one important business I had been hoping for?
I have to ask. It’s time.
"So. Did you kill him? Tanner?"
The silence that settles between us is deep. Eliano stiffens slightly, as if some kind of resistance rises up in his body, and I can almost physically feel that he wants to change the subject.
