"But?" Salt whispers, his voice weak, almost shaky. "There’s always a worse part after the ‘but’." He closes his eyes. I can hear his heartbeat picking up.
"But this plan is the worst possible one. And the outcome would only destroy us."
Salt jerks upright, swearing under his breath.
"Dammit! I knew it. Fucking knew it! My instincts told me to keep my mouth shut. Forget it."
He abruptly spins on his heel and rushes for the bathroom, probably to lock himself in, but I jump up and grab his hand to stop him. He struggles, trying to pull free, but I don’t let go.
"Wait, Salt. Please let me explain everything. I need you to understand my point of view too."
"Fuck off!" he shouts. "I don’t care about your point of view. You didn’t know my brother! You don’t know how much of an angel he was to me. I’m alive because of him! You have no idea what he sacrificed, what he went through so I wouldn’t have to. I won’t let his murderer walk free in this world, no fucking way!"
He yanks his arm again, but this time I grab him around the waist and throw him onto the bed.
I pin him down with my body and say calmly, "Okay. We’re going to talk like this, because I need to finish what I’m saying."
His face is flushed, and his eyes, maybe I’m imagining it, but they look a little wet. He tenses and struggles, but his breaths soon start to break, and he turns his head away.
I let out a huff. This isn’t easy for me either, but I have to say it.
"I know I’ve disappointed you, probably greatly. But I’m going to say this no matter what."
I lock my gaze on his face, still turned to the side.
"If we run, first of all, we both break the rules of this program. If we get caught, we’ll be separated, with very low chances of ever being together again."
I underline the last words with a light squeeze on his wrists, which I’m holding beneath me.
"Second, if we kill Daniel Tanner, we’ll both be guilty. You’ll get another sentence, a repeat offense. You’d be automatically excluded from any program meant for first-time offenders. And me? I’d end up in a maximum-security alpha prison. Far away from you. I’ve already lived in what was basically a prison. Thanks, but I’m not going back there. Even for your brother."
Salt looks at me again, fire burning in his eyes.
"No one has to catch us if we’re careful," he snarls, his body constantly straining under mine.
I snort softly. "You’re naive if you think no one will catch us. Where would we run? To the other side of the world? Peopleget tracked everywhere. Facial recognition is so advanced that they’ll find us sooner or later. We wouldn’t even notice some random camera in someone’s backyard. There’s no way we could hide for years."
Salt squeezes his eyes shut. "Stop. Why are you telling me this? My original plan was to just go, do it, and get myself killed during the police chase—"
"If it even comes to that! Tanner is a rapist and a kidnapper. He knows his ways, and you don’t have easy access to a gun anymore. He may overpower you and hurt you in ways you can’t imagine… before the police ever enter the picture!"
"I’m not stupid! I will never confront him face to face! And I will get a gun, don’t worry." He snorts angrily. "I know there’s no clean way out of something like this. But…" he curses under his breath and turns his face away again, "yeah, one thing you said is right. Iama naive idiot. I let myself believe that maybe, with you, there was another way."
"Maybe killing Tanner would be easier with two people, but at the same time, two people are far more noticeable targets. This is doomed, Salt, and you know it."
"I never wanted to drag you into this," he continues, his voice tight. "I just started to stupidly believe that…" He trails off, lips press together.
I understand how he feels now. Betrayed. He dared to hope we would be in this together, because… he might have started tolikeme. But I refused like a jackass. I threw all the cons back in his face.
I close my eyes and lower my head, pressing my cheek gently against his tense one.
"I know exactly why you did this, Salt. I can feel why you wanted me involved, and that reason makes me happy. Because it’s the same reason I wanted you to tell me everything, so we could come up with a different plan together."
Something like a sob mixed with an angry snort tears out of his chest.
"Bullshit. This was stupid. I regret telling you."
"Salt, don’t say that. Maybe we can still figure something out together."
