No.
Doubt crashes into me.
It cannot be like this.
Salt is drunk. And he is not ready. He has not gone through the foreplay that is necessary for sex between alphas and betas. Their bodies are not like omegas’. They do not yield so easily to arousal; they do not produce as much slick.
And we have had maybe three minutes of foreplay.
"No," I say, fighting desire hard. "I do not want my first time to happen in fighting mode, and not when you are drunk. That would not be consensual."
I turn away and slide to the edge of the bed, dropping my feet to the floor.
Salt lets out a frustrated huff.
"Don’t tell me you’re stopping now. It was getting so good!"
"You’re not ready, Salt. I would tear you apart."
"Maybe that would be fair. Senu was torn during his first time."
"What?!"
"Never mind. We’re not ending it like this!" Salt says firmly, surprising me as he jumps off the bed and suddenly drops to his knees in front of me while I am still sitting on the edge.
His face is a mix of challenge and disappointment.
"You’re denying me, Eliano?"
He raises his hands to my face.
"It’s not that. I don’t want my first time tainted—"
"I’m your husband, remember! You fought for me. You earned that right!" He presses his hands to my cheeks, nearly shouting from inches away.
Convincing me when I have made up my mind is no easy feat, so I say firmly, "Yeah, about that. I also don’t want my first time to be with someone who would never see me as a long-term prospect."
A sharp silence falls, if such a thing even exists, but it feels very real in that moment.
Will he start explaining? Reassuring me? Denying it? Saying… something?
No.
Instead, he suddenly places his hands on my thighs and says, "So let me give you a blowjob. You fought so hard! You gave it all! It was epic. You’re so powerful, Eliano…"
Since I do not reply, he closes his eyes and says almost pleadingly,
"And I’ve wanted to do that so badly, more than once, even when I was sober. I want this. Please don’t refuse at least that."
"Salt," I say, but my voice is weaker now, less certain, because the option sounds dangerously tempting. "I don’t know if that’s a good idea."
Salt’s red lips draw my attention. They are soft, sweet, parted. He sees this, probably realizing my defense is weakening, so he grabs my pants at the waist and starts undoing them.
I resist a little, but not much.
"You won’t be able to take it into your mouth. You won’t open your jaw wide enough."
"I can if I pull my jaw back, like omegas and alphas do during a bite lock."
