“Matt said the same thing.”
“Honey, a change might be good. I know the Wolves are your dream team. But isn’t the head coach of the Commanders your dream coach?”
Billy Cairns. A guy I idolized growing up when he coached for the Wolves.
I give her a doubtful look. “Careerwise, a change might be good? Maybe. And yeah, playing for Billy Cairns would be a dream come true. But what about Charlotte?”
“I was wondering when we’d get to that. I get you want to stay here for Charlotte, but she doesn’t have a job here right now. Nothing’s tying her here.”
“I’m not going to ask her to come to D.C. with me.”
Mom’s eyes twinkle. “Why not? It sounds like an adventure to me.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?” She turns from me, folds a dish towel, and tucks it into a drawer.
“Well, I don’t want to leave you here. And Emma, well, I don’t care as much about her as I do Chandler.” I pause to smile. “But don’t go repeating that to her.”
The corners of her eyes crinkle. “Taysom, you’re a pro football player. Your job is meant to be in a lot of different places.”
“But Dad…”
Mom sighs and massages her shoulder. “What about your father?”
“He was never home. And look what happened.”
Regarding me carefully, she reaches up to pat my upper arm. “Do you think your father and I divorced because he travelled for work much of the time?”
“Well, yeah. If he’d been around—”
“No, Taysom. Your dad’s travel schedule didn’t cause us to divorce.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“TayTay.” She sniffs out a little laugh. “He didn’t place our family as a priority. That’s the bottom line. Sure, the heavy travel schedule was hard, but it was what he did and didn’t do when he was home that made all the difference. I gave him years of opportunities to choose us, and ultimately, he didn’t. When you were little, I couldn’t really explain it to you, but…”
I force air in and out of my chest. I’ve held up this idea in my head for so long that if he hadn’t been gone all the time, things would have been different. But was I wrong?
Mom’s blue eyes are kind. “This is exactly why your intense football schedule doesn’t have to harm your relationships, son. If you’re putting your family—your future wife and kids—as your top priority, if your heart is with them always, if you’re in contact with them as much as possible, your relationships can be strong. With firm boundaries and diligent and honest communication, you can make it work. It’s not easy, but you can do it.” She squints at me. “Taysom, you’re not your father.”
I scrub my face, blinking away the sting behind my eyes.
“And also?” Mom reaches up and puts both hands on my shoulders and gives them a firm shake. “I’m fine. You don’t need to look out for me anymore.”
Doubt radiates through me.
“It’s not that I don’t think you’re fine,” I say. “I like being here at the house with you.”
“Well, if you had to go to D.C., then I just might have to also take the leap and go to New York.”
In the years she’s been dating Raul long distance, she’s never said that she’d go to New York to be with him. It was implied, of course, every time she turned down a proposal from him with the promise that it simply wasn’t the right time. I considered the possibility that she’d go to New York. But I also considered the possibility that Raul would come here, eventually. His youngest goes to NYU, but when he graduates, there wouldn’t be as much tying him down. He could probably start his business over here in San Antonio.
But from the look in her eyes, she seems ready to do just that.
“Raul would love that,” I manage.
“I would love that, too,” she says, wistfully.
