Maybe tomorrow. I know better than to believe that. I’ve been telling myself that since Camilla kicked me to the curb. The problem is, I’m running out of tomorrows.
“DO ME A FAVOR,” CAYDENsays, looking me over. “Tonight is the last night we’re going to do anything together for a very long time. Put on something a little nicer than jeans and a T-shirt.”
“When have you ever wanted to do something that called for us to dress nicer than jeans and a T-shirt?”
“Trust me.”
Sure that’s how I got my world upended, by trusting my best friend. Begrudgingly, I do as my friend wishes. Maybe I’ll stop at Camilla’s before coming back home. Looking good may give me the courage I’ve been lacking.
“Hey Stone, Raven’s calling and I only have one bar. I’m going to step outside and answer this. I’ll be right back.”
“Whatever,” I answer, hoping Raven insists that he return home so I don’t have to suffer through this night resenting my friend and his happiness.
“Just be ready to go!”
Be ready to go. That’s a joke. There’s only one place I want to go, and I don’t need Cayden to hold my hand and come along.In fact, I don’t want to go, I need to go. He’s my friend. He’ll understand.
“Hey, Cayden,” I call as I leave my bedroom, not certain that he’s back inside. I thought I heard him come back in, but I can’t be sure. Looking up, I freeze. My breath catches and my throat goes dry.
“Camilla?” Is she real? Am I seeing things?
Standing in a white sundress with a ring of babies breath flowers in her hair, Camilla’s brown eyes twinkle as the most beautiful smile creeps across her lips. I’m so fucking desperate to see her that I’m hallucinating.
“Hi.”
I take a few tentative steps forward, afraid to believe. Afraid that my mind is showing me what I want to see, only for me to step on a rake as I move forward. In the next heartbeat I make the decision to believe. To take this moment as far as I can. If she’s truly an apparition, when I reach my hand out to cup her cheek, I won’t feel anything but air.
Keeping my eyes locked on Camilla’s, I stretch my trembling hand out. As I close the gap between us, her body heat reaches for me, pulsing in waves, vibrating between us, and I lose all doubt. Somehow, Camilla is here. With me. In my living room.
Her smile is infectious and as my lips curl up, the heavy weight I’ve been lugging around since she kicked me out of her bakery lifts and lightens from my chest, my shoulders, from my heart, until all I feel is light and happiness. As I sweep Cami into my arms, nothing exists except this moment and the excitement of having her here with me.
Tomorrow is forgotten. My guardianship feels a lifetime away instead of forty or fifty hours. What a gift she has given me, allowing me to go into my rocklike sleep with a sense of peace and fulfillment, that she still cares enough to come to me, and only one word passed between us. Just, hi.
Camilla clasps her hands behind my neck and her lips shower me in kisses. Over my face and lips. My fingers tangle in her hair as I hold her and take in every detail of this moment: the feel of her soft curves pressed against me, her sweet, sugary scent, and the love shining in her eyes.
“I love you so much,” she whispers. “I’m so sorry, Stone.” Tears spill out of her eyes.
“Oh, baby,” I hold her face between my hands and return the benediction of love, giving back as many kisses as she gave me and then some. “You have nothing to be sorry about. It was a misunderstanding is all.” I squeeze her tight as if to accentuate my point.
My chest feels like it’s about to burst with joy. The throbbing in my chest resonates throughout my body, into my finger tips and down to my toes. I feel a bright light shining inside me. This is love, grace and forgiveness in their purest form. I’m the luckiest being alive to experience this. To be able to take this with me into the deepest sleep I’ll ever know.
“Thank you, Cami. You, your love, the privilege of loving you, they’re all the greatest gifts of my life.”
“Do you mean it?” She sniffles and wipes tears spilling from her eyes away with her fingers.
“With my whole heart.”
She giggles, then squeezes her eyes shut with a beautiful smile illuminating her face. “I have a question.” She takes a deep breath, her shoulders rising and falling with her breath. “Will you marry me?”
My heart drops and all the joy filling me is sucked out and replaced with agonizing pain. I look down to the ground as I shake my head. “No.” My dried up insides crack as I witness the shattering of her hopes right in front of me.
“Why not?” There’s a desperation to her voice that confirms my suspicions. Cami knows.
“Because, honey, you don’t want to get married.” I stroke her cheek with my thumb. “Not really.” I smile through my tears. “And it’s okay.”
“You’re wrong. I want to marry you.”
“Let me ask you this,” I’m filled with an inner strength I never felt before. It far exceeds anything I’m capable of with my body. “Would you want to marry me, would you even consider it if you didn’t know that I was going to become inanimate? Be honest.”
