“I’m sorry you felt you had to do that, Jake. If you wanted to get away from me, you could’ve easily stayed in your sister’s spare bedroom that was never full of store supplies.”
Jake’s eyes widened and he froze.
“Yeah, I know about the setup, Jake. I heard everything you and Hailey talked about on the front porch.”
He closed his eyes and hung his head, his bag dropping to the floor. “Lydia, let me explain.”
“There’s no need,” I said. “I know it was Hailey’s idea about the room. But I know you lied about your car not working, so you’d have to third wheel it on mine and Max’s date to the festival.”
Jake blew out a heavy sigh. “I’m not happy about that, Lydia.” The room fell silent, and he lifted his gaze to mine. “Itried to sabotage your time with Max. I didn’t want him getting close to you.”
His words made my pulse race.
“Why?” I asked, whispering the word.
He shook his head. “If you heard everything Hailey and I said, then you know why.”
“I want to hear you say it.”
A look of torment passed across his face. “Why? It’s not going to change anything. I’m leaving because I don’t want to be in your way anymore. Things with Max are probably going to get serious and the last thing you’re going to want is me being here, getting in the way of everything.” His jaw clenched and he averted his gaze to the floor. “And honestly, I don’t want to be here to watch. It hurts to see you with someone else.”
My eyes began to burn. The feelings in my heart wanted to burst out and shout to the world that I loved him. It took hearing his words to admit it to myself.
I love him.
I wanted to say it, but I couldn’t.
“What are we going to do now?” I asked.
Tears cascaded down my cheeks and Jake stepped forward, wiping them away with the pads of his thumbs. “That depends on you. I’m in love with you, Lydia. If you can say the same to me, we’ll figure it out together.”
The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t. This was the moment I’d been waiting for my entire life. I was in love with him too, but what would it mean for Max if I admitted it? Would that leave him alone for the rest of his life? I didn’t know how the Christmas magic worked, but I knew it was powerful enough to change everyone’s lives—just saying and doing things differently on those two Christmas Eves had changed so much. My actions could easily screw up a life and that would haunt me forever.
“I want to,” I murmured, “but I can’t. Things are a little complicated right now.”
His face fell. “What do you mean ‘complicated’?”
I shook my head. “I can’t explain. It’s not something I can tell you.”
Slowly, he stepped back and I felt his warmth leave me. “You used to be able to tell me anything.”
“I know,” I said. “But I can’t with this.”
Jake reached down and grabbed his bag. “When you decide you can, you know where to find me.”
Without another word, he picked up his bag and walked out the door and I reluctantly watched him go. It was one of the worst feelings I’ve ever had to endure.
20
JAKE
The whole way to my new house, I could hear Lydia’s words repeating in my mind. What could she not tell me? What was so complicated about saying how she felt?
I could see in her eyes that something was bothering her, and I wanted to know what it was. What could Max offer her that I couldn’t? She barely knew him, whereas we had a history that nothing could ever replace.
I pressed Hailey’s name on my dashboard and the line rang over the car speakers. “Hey, big brother. Is Lydia awake yet?”
“Oh yeah, she’s awake,” I said, my voice sarcastic.
