The car ride to the airport was silent, but I needed the time to gather my thoughts. Because as soon as we made it back to Alabama, I was going to come clean.
My future with her hung in the balance and it scared the fuck out of me. I’d had a taste of what happiness feels like and I was so afraid I was about to lose it.
Chapter 18
Ayla
Iknew what was going on was serious. Usually, I’d ask questions and demand more information in situations where I was left in the dark, but not this time. No, I knew we had to leave North Carolina, and fast.
Before leaving Kat and Jonah’s, I looked up the Deluca name on the internet while I was hidden away in the bathroom. I didn’t want Declan to see what I was doing.
The Delucas were a huge deal in New York. They owned restaurants, hotels, and other businesses. I wanted to find pictures of them to see what they looked like, but I came up empty, which was strange. You’d think there would be some kind of photos somewhere. Also, nothing was mentionedabout them being a mafia family, but that was to be expected. I’d seen plenty of mafia movies, and there was one thing I knew for sure . . . I didn’t want to be anywhere near them.
The car ride and even the time on the airplane was spent in silence. I could see the wheels in Declan’s head turning, but I could also feel the tension brewing beneath the surface. It was a mixture of all sorts of emotions, and not good ones. With Vincent Deluca being so close, it had to have rattled him big time.
Did it frighten me? Maybe a little, but I wasn’t scared for myself. I was terrified about what it’d do to Declan. I didn’t want him hiding behind that wall again and shutting me out.
It wasn’t until we got in the car to head home from the airport that Declan finally spoke. His knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so hard.
“I’m sorry about all of this,” he said, his voice sounding tired. “There’s just so much on my mind and I couldn’t talk to you about any of it with us being around so many people.”
I reached over and took one of his hands off the wheel, entwining my fingers through his. “It’s okay; I understand. I know you can’t talk about certainthings in public, especially when they involve the mafia.”
It was still hard to wrap my head around the thought of him being an FBI agent and having that dangerous type of life. He went after people who murdered, raped, and did God knows what.
As I looked at him with all the tension on his face and worry in his eyes, all I could see was a hero. A strong man who wanted to protect the world. How could I not fall in love with someone like that?
We pulled into my driveway and Declan grabbed our bags out of the trunk. My stomach churned with nerves as I watched him. I didn’t like how guarded his eyes were when they met mine.
I keyed in the code to get into my garage, and we went through the kitchen door. Declan set our bags on the floor and walked into the living room, keeping his back to me. He ran his hands over his face and sighed.
“I don’t know how to do this, Ayla.”
“Do what?” I asked, coming up behind him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head against his back.
He placed his hands over mine. “Tell you the truth.”
My heart stopped and I froze. A part of me didn’t know if I wanted to know. “What truth?”
Declan unlatched my arms so he could face me. “The truth about who I really am.” He tore his eyes away from mine and moved across the room to the fireplace, his focus on the pictures on my mantle. I got the feeling he was too afraid to look at me. “I have to go back to North Carolina, Ayla.”
He was going after Vincent.
Swallowing hard, I took a step toward him. “What are you going to do when you get there?”
A heavy sigh escaped his lips and he turned to face me. “My job. I have to finish what I started. I know he’s hunting me, so I might as well make it easy for him and get this over with. That way, I can move on. I don’t think I’ll be able to until this is done.”
“Are you going to arrest him?” I asked.
All he did was stare at me, the muscles in his jaw clenching. Then, after a few seconds, he peered down at the floor and shook his head. “I’m not going to arrest him, Ayla. I’m going to kill him.”
The breath left my lungs, and all I could do was stand there. Deep down, I knew that was what he was going to do, but hearing it come from his own mouth was a different thing.
“Have you told your other FBI colleaguesthat you’re going to do this?” I questioned, trying to keep my voice steady.
When his head lifted and his eyes focused on mine, I could see his determination. “They know. I’m meeting one of my fellow agents out there tomorrow.” He stepped toward me until he was so close, but he kept his distance, almost as if he was afraid I’d refuse his touch. “I need you to know what I really am, Ayla. Or, at least, what I used to be. I don’t want to keep this from you anymore, not when I want us to have a future together.”
So many things ran through my head, but they were all jumbled. I couldn’t think of anything that would make me love him less. He kept saying I needed to knowwhathe really was, but that didn’t make sense to me.
