She’s never seen me like this.
Patient.
Waiting.
Letting her call the shots.
I see the realization dawn in her eyes, the moment she understands what’s happening.
What I’m doing.
A flicker of surprise, quickly followed by a wave of something else.
Something that looks a lot like trust.
It's that which keeps me from doing what my impulses tell me to do. I haven't been in bed with, and intimate with, a woman in a “vanilla” kind of way since I was seventeen. This is… difficult.
But for her, I can do it.
If only to prove my point.
She leans in again, her lips brushing against my ear.
“Nico, touch me,” she whispers, her voice a breathy, desperate plea.
My entire body goes rigid with the need to turn her over my knee and teach her a lesson about calling me by my name and not Sir while in bed.
I close my eyes for a second, taking a deep breath to get myself under control.
It takes everything in me, but I push past it, focusing on her request.
She's still holding onto the hope that she can have it this way. That she can be… vanilla. Which is what she thinks is "normal."
Hell, maybe she can. I'm not above admitting when I'm wrong. Maybe she'll find what she needs here, and everything will settle into place for her perfectly.
But I don’t think I’m that wrong.
Even if she does find her "normal" one day, I know what I saw the night of the auction, what I saw in her eyes, her body, what I heard spilling from her lips. She may give it up, but she'll never stop thinking about it, dreaming of it, fantasizing about submitting.
There's no going back.
She'll always be mine in some capacity.
That I know for a fact.
But if she stubbornly refuses to get off this path, then I can’t be on it with her. I've been down this way before. It was a long time ago, but it was filled with shame and guilt.
And really boring sex.
I'm comfortable with who I am and my needs.
I open my eyes.
I look at her for a long moment, my gaze unwavering, before I finally give her what she wants.
I raise my hand, my movements slow and deliberate, and let my fingers trace the delicate line of her jaw.
Her skin is so soft.
