“I’m sorry, Don Manca.”
He nodded once to accept the apology.The skin around his eyes wrinkled as he tried to look through me.“You were the best of us.There won’t be another like you for at least a generation, maybe more.I want you to know that you wereneverthe bastard son of Gesualdo Conti.You werealwaysone of ours.The gods willed it so.Never forget that.”
My heart was too wounded to sing, but his words helped.“Anything you need.Anywhere you need it, I’ll be there.I am not retiring.”
He smiled.“I know.”
Thank goodness.I don’t know what I’d do without a purpose.Even if it was the worst possible one in the world, I needed death.I needed this family, the work, the blood…the finality.Otherwise, I’d go insane.
“Go.Hide.I know where to find you.”
I bowed my head and wished him well.“Happy hunting, grandfather.”
He touched my sleeve.“Keeps the wolves at bay, my son.”
The tears in my eyes were shoved deep.I’d have plenty of time to cry once I reached the summer peaks where the goats grazed freely.
25
Ellie
Alimping bartender, a retired cop, and a disgraced federal agent sat together in a bar.But it wasn’t a joke.Collectively, we made one hell of a somber trio.Jameson was the poison of choice.Silence was our confession.I poured three glasses and raised a glass toward the bar.
“For each petal on the shamrock this brings a wish your way.Good health, good luck, and happiness for today and every day."
The words were automatic.The sentiment was no longer a balm.
It hurt too much to feel joy.
We drank.
Bridget set her glass down and confessed, “They offered me my job back.”
I barely paid attention.
Casey, however was.“You turned them down, right?”
“I can’t do it.I can’t anymore.”She slammed the remnants of her drink.
“Is bartending difficult?”she asked.
“Horribly difficult,” Casey replied.
“Why do you do it then?”
Casey thought about her question.“Because I’m not made to kill people.I can’t hold a grudge long enough.”
I could.I sipped on that thought as they chatted.
Bridget needed this.Commiseration with a fellow cop who’d lost his way and his purpose.She was struggling to find her path.
Lying did that to a good person.
“Did you know I only discharged my service weapon once?”Casey was trying to be helpful, but he didn’t know the truth.If he did, he might have said something else.Or maybe not been as sympathetic.
Bridget took the blame for killing Johnny.
Her confession was scrutinized for two weeks as I recovered.We’d gotten the story straight before we even left the house.It was her decision.Not mine.
