“No,” she says indignantly. “I mean…urgh…no. You have a boyfriend. And at the very first test, I fell over.”
“Isla,” I say, grabbing hold of her wrist. “He’s my life partner. Not my boyfriend. Not to scare you, but the two of us agreed we’d both like to explore this with you. If you consent, obviously.”
“Oh.” She glances up at the ceiling. As if willing Garrett to see the two of us. “Both of you?”
I stroke her cheek, and she lets me, at first, before brushing my hand away. “You don’t believe me?”
She looks at the key in her hand. “Believing in what bikers tell me has been a weakness that I’m working on.”
I touch the ends of her hair. It’s soft and smooth, and I resist the urge to take a handful. “I know we have a lot of work to do to help you trust us.”
Her jaw drops open. “You’re serious?”
I nod. “I am.”
She steps back toward the hallway, to the front door, where she can run for the safety of home. “I don’t think I can.”
“Why?”
“I’m not looking for hook-ups. I’m looking for something real. Something long-term.”
“We see that. And so are we. It would be a closed polyamorous relationship. A triad between the three of us. Why couldn’t something real happen here?”
She huffs. “It’s all of it. Two of you. The club. Who you are and what you do. And I could just imagine the face of the old ladies if I showed up with the two of you. They’d never trust me amongst them. And I’d be in that shitty place where no one really wants me. Like, hey, Greer, let’s sit together and try not to think about all the times I sucked Butcher’s cock.”
There’s a spear of envy that it wasn’t mine. “Yes. But you’d have us.”
She runs her fingers over the key in her palm. I haven’t lost the ability to read a woman, and I see a woman battling between what she thinks is right and what she knows she wants.
“Isla. There’s no rush and no time limit on this. Just…get to know usawayfrom the club. And talk to Garrett when he sees you later. Tell him I kissed you. Tell him what we talked about. Talk it through with him.”
Her cheeks blush pink. “I don’t think I’m ready for that.”
“In your own time, then.”
“Will you tell him? While I’m gone?”
I nod. “Of course, I will. I’ll tell him it was sweet and nowhere near long enough for my liking.”
“Oh,” she says again, then bites down on her lower lip.
I step closer to her. “You want me to try again, kiss you a little longer this time?”
She throws her hands up, an invisible shield to stop me from stepping closer. “No.”
“Are you sure?”
She shakes her head as she heads to the door, then looks back at me. “Right now, I’m not sure of anything. Your kiss confused me, Kai. And I don’t know what to do with that.”
19
ISLA
Ileave their house and jog across the road, and the whole time, my heart does this ridiculous hiccupping in my chest. The cold air doesn’t help. Breathing is already hard enough.
But every step toward my door feels like I’m walking in wet cement.
Jackal kissed me.
