Is this karma coming back around?
Giving us yet another do-over?
My heart is thrumming in my chest and I try to keep my breathing steady as she comes out of the bathroom, crawling back into bed. She moves into my arms, resting against my chest.
“I really hope I don’t get you sick,” she whispers.
If I’m right, it’s not contagious, but I don’t want to say anything. Not yet.
I didn’t realize how much losing our baby impacted me, because, if I’m honest, I’ll be thrilled if she’s pregnant. The timing is all wrong, I have no idea how she might feel about having a baby at this stage of her life and our relationship, but I’m ready. I can’t explain it, I just am.
“You okay?” She lifts her head as if she can tell I’m thinking about something.
“I’m…” I hesitate and then decide I shouldn’t keep things from her. If we’re going to make this work, honesty is of the utmost importance. “Is there any chance you’re…pregnant?”
Her eyes widen and she just stares at me.
“Wh-what?” she asks blankly. “I don’t think—did we break any condoms?”
“No, we didn’t break any but remember that time it came off right at the end? That’s the only thing I can think of. At the time, it wasn’t even on my radar because it was still on when I came, but I guess it’s possible there was leakage after the fact?”
“Jordan.” Her eyes are huge and round and filled with worry.
“It’s going to be okay,” I say quickly, putting one hand on the side of her face. “I was planning to propose as soon as you graduated, but I’m ready whenever you are. We’re already talking about looking for a house and even though I know the timing isn’t great, I don’t want you to worry. If you are, I’ll be by your side every step of the way.”
“We’re not ready for a baby!” she says, eyes filling with tears.
“It’s not ideal, but we can handle anything life throws at us, as long as we’re together. Do you believe that?”
She hesitates but then nods. “Yes.”
“Then let’s go to an urgent care and find out for sure since you’re not feeling great.”
“Okay.”
The closest urgent care isn’t particularly busy, so we get in right away. Victoria fills out a bunch of paperwork, gives them her insurance card, and then she gets called back. I bounce my leg as I wait, anxious to have an answer.
It’s probably just a stomach bug.
She hasn’t been sleeping and has been under a lot of stress. It would make sense that she’s under the weather.
But I can’t shake the feeling that it’s more.
That we’ve come full circle.
“Jordan?” Her voice snaps me out of my thoughts, and I practically jump to my feet.
“You okay?” I ask. “Are we ready to go?”
She shakes her head. “I need you to be with me when…we get the results.”
“Of course.” I take her hand and she leads me back to her room.
We sit on two incredibly hard, uncomfortable chairs and it feels like a hundred years before the doctor comes in. He’s smiling as he looks at us.
“Well, Ms. Denali, we’ve found the cause of your upset stomach.”
We both sit up a little straighter, and she squeezes my hand harder than I’ve ever felt it.
