Getting back together with Jordan seems impossible.
But losing him again is unbearable.
Somehow, I have to fix this.
Chapter 34
Jordan
As the plane descends into JFK Airport, I’m grumpy as fuck.
I’d been looking forward to this trip, to having Victoria with me and the opportunity to spend quality alone time together. Instead, I let my pride and my temper get the best of me and broke up with her.
It still doesn’t feel real.
Probably because we haven’t been able to spend enough time together so this is just…normal. Except for not constantly texting each other. That part is hard. I reach for my phone a dozen times a day to tell her something, ask her a question, share a funny story. But I can’t.
At some point, she has to stand up to her family.
I’m ninety-nine percent sure I did the right thing. It’s the pesky one percent that’s bugging the shit out of me.
Should I have been more patient?
Given her until graduation to sort things out with her parents?
The thing is, it’s always something. It was like that before too. Her parents would say, yes, you can go out with Jordan. But then give us so many restrictions it was almost impossible not to break a rule.
It’s not quite the same now but the general vibe is. This issue with her father’s health is just another manipulation tool. He’s a grown-ass man who could go to the doctor and figure out what’s going on. Instead, he uses the stress his daughter is causing him as a tool to guilt her into doing what he wants.
That doesn’t make it hurt any less, though.
It only took a couple of weeks for me to realize I love her more than anything.
And that’s the problem.
How much do I give before she rips my heart into shreds again? Every time her parents lay on a guilt trip, she capitulates.
I’m ready to give her a ring, make up for lost time.
Instead, I walked away.
I don’t know if that makes me the problem. I walked away last time too, despite there being very different circumstances. Self-preservation seems to be a theme for me, and that’s why I’m having doubts.
My friends all think I did the right thing—except Chloe. She’s the proverbial one percent. The one asking me if a few more months would have killed me? If my love is as conditional as Victoria’s parents’ love is. That was the thing that hit home.
Part of me wants to call her, reach out, because I didn’t do that last time.
But I’m not sure what the point is. Nothing has changed in the last few days, I’m sure of it, so it would be a simple case of me making sacrifices and her letting her parents continue to manipulate both of us.
The one thing I know for sure is that I can’t live that way.
“You’ve been pretty quiet,” Aiden says as we head into the hotel.
“Yeah. Have a lot on my mind.”
“Victoria.”
“Duh.”
