“I do. But Jordan and I have something special. I can’t explain it.”
He rolls his eyes. “What you have is hormones. We all had them at your age. And you’re a pretty girl. Of course, he wants to be with you. But what happens in five years when you’ve had a few babies, put on some weight, and don’t have time to fawn over him anymore? He’s going to look elsewhere.”
“Not everyone cheats!” I say in frustration. “Did you?”
He hesitates and then shrugs. “No but it might have been different if I’d been deployed for months at a time. I was a drill sergeant so I didn’t go overseas. Men are easily tempted, especially one as good-looking and successful as Jordan. That’s reality. I’m trying to prepare you and maybe prevent you from getting your heart broken.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him he’s the reason I got my heart broken the first time but that’ll just piss him off.
“Even so, I’m an adult and have to make my own mistakes. I need you to trust me.”
“I trust you—it’s him I don’t trust.”
“Can’t you just give him a chance?”
“I did, didn’t I? He left here without any broken bones. I call that a win.”
I scowl. “That’s not funny, Dad. I’m an adult. You can’t just terrorize men I want to date.”
“My house, my rules.” He nods. “Good night.”
He walks out of the kitchen and I finish cleaning up before going to my room.
Part of me is glad things with Jordan are out in the open now, but there’s also a part of me that wishes we hadn’t said anything. Now that Dad knows I can’t sleep over anymore, and his comments about coming home at a decent hour only add more restrictions. Short-term, this is going to make everything more difficult for us. And I can’t help but wonder if Jordan will get frustrated with it. With me.
He’s been on his own for five years at this point. He’s not used to curfews or having to essentially ask permission to date a woman. It makes me nervous because he can have almost anyone. I trust in the bond we seem to have, but I’m also a realist. He went through a lot because of me four years ago, and I wouldn’t blame him if he cut and run at the first sign of trouble. He just has too much to lose.
Deep down, I’m worried that Dad was just faking it tonight and he’s planning on figuring out a way to break us up again. That’s partly why I’m putting up with his ridiculous rules. I’m not a child anymore, but he doesn’t like it when he doesn’t get his way. Maybe if I placate him, he’ll get used to Jordan and me being together. Maybe even accept him as part of the family. That would be ideal, even if I’m not holding out hope for that.
Part of me wonders if he’ll be this way no matter who I date. If he simply doesn’t want me to be happy. Or maybe he just doesn’t want us to leave home. He wasn’t thrilled that Ivy got pregnant but he was ecstatic that Charlie’s father decided not to be in his life.
My head is starting to spin and I realize I’m being dramatic, probably because I’m both physically and emotionally drained. If I can get a good night’s sleep, it’ll go a long way toward adjusting my attitude. And since I’m not working tomorrow, I’m going to the Knights’ game and then out to dinner with Jordan.
Something to look forward to, at least, and an opportunity to feel him out after tonight’s stressful dinner.
Jordan held his own, as I knew he would, but I’m still worried.
Throwing myself on my bed, I stare up at the ceiling. I don’t know why I let my father upset me so much. I’m an adult. Almost a college graduate. Where does this fear come from? Is it a desire to be a dutiful daughter, or am I that desperate for my dad’s love? I know he loves me, he just doesn’t know how to show it, something that’s always bothered me. My mother has always said it’s just how he is.
At some point, I’m going to have to think about what that means, but tonight I’m too tired. Before I know it, I’m fast asleep.
The game is a blast, and I’m starting to feel like I belong as I sit in the stands with the other wives and girlfriends. I’ve gotten to know Chloe and Juliet pretty well, along with a few others.
“I don’t know if you have plans on Thursday,” Juliet says to me, “but the team is making an impromptu appearance at the children’s hospital and I’m going to bake cookies and cupcakes for the kids and staff. I could use some help distributing them.”
“Thursday is my day off,” I say, nodding. “I’d love to help.”
“Great. Chloe’s working so she can’t come, but Eden is going to help too. It’ll only take about two hours.”
“Count me in,” I say.
“It’ll be fun.” She squeezes my arm. “And the kids are so sweet.”
“You’ve done it before?”
“Yeah, this will be the third time. It’s a little sad because they’re so sick but the kids light up.”
“Are they allowed to eat sweets?”
