“I’m just not sure how I’m going to handle him today.”
“Why are you calling me instead of his mother?”
“Well, she has class.”
“And I have work. What’s the difference?”
“You don’t contribute to the household,” she says in a surly tone. “You use us like a hotel.”
“It was your idea for me to live at home while I went to college to save money. I was accepted to Florida State and Tulane. I could have gone away. And I contribute quite a bit. I do all the laundry on Sundays, including yours and Charlie’s, which is a lot. I wash your car when I do mine. And I clean my room and bathroom.”
“Well, that’s the least you could do.”
“Mom, if you need me to do more, say so, but you can’t call me out of the blue and make me feel guilty because I can’t help take care of a kid that isn’t mine!”
“Your sister is under a lot of pressure. The least you could do is help.”
“Oh, you mean like all the nights I got up with Charlie when he was a newborn so she could sleep? Or how I was the only one making bottles for him so there would always be one in the fridge for whomever was feeding him? How about me taking him and picking him up from preschool all last year? Even though it made me late for work a bunch of times.”
“That was then. This is now. We’re a family and this isn’t a hotel. We do a lot for you and your sister. It’s not too much to ask that you’re around to help out.”
“Unless you want to take over my car and insurance payments, I can’t skip work. I’m sorry. I have to go.”
I disconnect, feeling equal parts annoyed and guilty.
In some ways, it is a little like living at a hotel. I come and go as I please, and other than Sunday dinner, I don’t spend a ton of time with my family. I go out of my way to spend time with Charlie, but he’s often asleep when I get home from work. On my days off I clean my room, do whatever laundry I find, and run any errands I have. I don’t pay to live at home but that was the deal we made when I was getting ready for college. I really wanted to move to Tallahassee to attend FSU but my parents convinced me it would be cheaper to go to school locally and live at home.
Even with a partial scholarship I would have wound up with tens of thousands of dollars in student loans, so I took their advice. They don’t give me any money, which is fine, but it seems unreasonable to want me to take time off work to help babysit a child that isn’t mine. I help Ivy with Charlie all the time. I’ve spent a ton of money on diapers, formula, and toys over the years.
It’s frustrating that my parents don’t think that counts.
By the same token, maybe I need to do more around the house. My mom is very particular about how things are done, and she does most of it herself anyway but I might try to offer. Instead of washing her car for her, I could just ask her what she would prefer when I have a little extra time.
My parents are frustrating sometimes, but I try to be respectful, especially now, when I’m so close to graduation.
It might also help my case when I tell them about Jordan.
I already know they won’t like that we’re back together and so far I haven’t been brave enough to mention it. I keep trying to come up with a way to spin it that will make them give him another chance but I’m not sure there’s such a thing. My father hates him. Any time his name has come up over the years he says something along the lines of still wanting to kick his ass.
It’s immature and ridiculous but I just keep my mouth shut.
Now I’m rethinking that. It’s time to open up a line of communication about things and try to get my family on board. How else are Jordan and I going to be together? Technically, I can leave any time I want. I’m an adult and I’ll be out of school in two months.
But they’re my family. I don’t want to be estranged from them. As strict as my dad is, and as needy as my mom can be, they’re my parents. It’s that simple. When I thought my life was over four years ago, my parents helped me piece it back together. They were distracted with Ivy’s pregnancy, but I still had support and love. Sometimes it feels conditional, and I’ve learned not to get upset about it because a lot of kids have it much worse.
I have to think about this and find a way to ease Jordan into the conversation with my family. Maybe Ivy will have some ideas. My parents tend to give her a little more slack for some reason—probably because they adore Charlie—so she might have insight I’m missing.
Chapter 22
Jordan
By the time we get back to Lauderdale, we’re all anxious to get home and away from Coach’s restrictions. Practice is optional tomorrow, so the only thing I want is to spend time with Victoria. Except tomorrow is Tuesday and she has to be at work at 2:30. That means I can take her to breakfast and then maybe spend a few hours in bed before she has to leave.
“I don’t know if I can,” she says when I call her. “My mom asked me to help her around the house. She’s been sick and now Charlie is sick, so they kind of need me here.”
“Oh.” Disappointment floods me. But if the family is sick, what can she do? “Well, how about after work?”
She hesitates but then says, “Yes. How about I come over after work? I can’t sleep over tonight, I need to help with Charlie in the morning, but we can spend a few hours together.”
